help please

[doglover223]

its 3 days till crufts and i'm not prepared I need to not shower after going to the toilet I know your not supposed to ask for reassurance on this but I need it can every body ho reads this tell me if they do the same thing after going to the toilet it would give me some peace of mind xoxo

[JoeS00]

Yes when you do it you get a temporary relief but anxiety comes back worse with the desire to keep doing it. That's what OCD is the more you reassure the more it grasps you by the neck. It's a big monster. The less you reassure the more you'll push it away but I tell you girl, it is uncomfortable and scary not doing the compulsions. It is the only way though and of course with the help of the right therapist and finding your own techniques it can get better I am sure.

[OCD_SOS]

I used to do it but I got over my fear by not giving into the compulsions. Its natural to ask for more reassurance but I know you got this! Is there anything specifically that makes you want to shower after going to the bathroom?

[doglover223 in reply to OCD_SOS]

just feeling unclean in genral ty

[OCD_SOS in reply to doglover223]

I totally get that, but you have to think about what you just said. Everything in general is what's making you feel "unclean". That's what I call an irrational statement. If going into a bathroom makes you dirty, then just living life in general would be borderline hazardous. Our bodies are meant to be exposed to certain things and they are built to protect against them. As long as you wash your hands after, then there should be no worries. Do you have an idea of the reason you are worried about feeling unclean?

[doglover223]

no not really thanks that really helped I would love to stay in touch you have great advice

[OCD_SOS in reply to doglover223]

Of course! If you ever need any help, we can fs chat. I've followed your profile so just message me if you need anything

[Natureloverpeace]

Not doing compulsions, including reassurance seeking, is scary because the fear is real. No amount of compulsions will give us the certainty that OCD demands though. There will always be another “what if”. Even though our feared outcome from not doing the compulsion is highly improbable to occur, it could , and OCD hones in on that and magnifies it big time. Doing mental or physical compulsions reinforces the irrational obsessions. It teaches the brain that the distress needs to be relieved by compulsions and that we can’t handle distress. It’s a vicious cycle. Standing up to the OCD bully/dictator by not doing what it demands along with accepting uncertainty are necessary to break free from the chokehold OCD has on you. Learning that you can handle distressful things is also necessary. It takes time to learn and practice this but taking the risk of not obeying OCD is worth it. The freedom is worth it. Remember that acceptance doesn’t equal approval and feelings are not facts.

[Sallyskins]

The more you shower and wash, the more unclean you will feel. And that just leads to more washing. And more feeling unclean.

Try feeling uncomfortable for a while - resist the urge to have yet another shower. Stand it as long as you can. The feeling of being unclean will wear off. Maybe not immediately, and you may need to practise again and again. Often the feelings will overwhelm you and you will give in and have another shower. Don't be discouraged by this. The more you practise the more you will succeed.

The skin is a natural barrier and has properties that protect you from germs. Too much washing can actually make this natural protection less effective! By all means wash your hands after using the loo - it makes sense both for you and for others. More than that is unnecessary.

Apart from handling food - of course wash your hands before doing so - most of us are too clean! Exposure to germs is, to some extent, good - it exercises our immune system and keeps it fit. There are many auto-immune diseases that are causes by the immune system turning on the very body it's supposed to protect, because it doesn't get enough to do fighting germs.

It's all right to shower once a day - more than that won't do you any good. Make sure you moisturize your skin after. It may feel uncomfortable, but part of getting over OCD consists of allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable until it wears off.

[Sallyskins]

And dogs are clean and healthy to be around - they're good for both mental and physical health! And they don't need constant bathing, unless they've been rolling in shit or you need to groom them for Crufts!