my ocd is ruining me

[Baggyclothes]

I have been recently diagnosed with ocd and I’m struggling with something that sexually happened to me I don’t know when and my ocd is blowing it out of the water and I can’t seem to get the feeling of I don’t deserve to be here out of my head and I deserve nothing

[TomFed]

After being diagnosed, it always takes time to learn and adopt to new healthy coping strategies, and healing for sure doesn't happen in one day. How long have you had OCD?

Healing is a process but you are one the right track, as you mentioned that you've been diagnosed. If you apply ERP/CBT therapy tools diligently, and step-by-step learn to be more self compassionate, there is lots of healing and joy waiting for you down the road.

Would you like to describe in more detail what sex related obsessions currently OCD is throwing at you?

[lml885]

all i can say is i feel similarly. I have suffered from this for so long, im so exhausted and fed up. Im doing al lI can. Im working now to meditate every night on accepting thoughts, or noticing them, or just focusing on exposing myself to the uncomfortable feelings all i can to try to get used to them and let them go. Sometimes it works. L theanine can help along with ginger and turmeric if found.

[Mcfly64]

Hi Baggyclothes. Have you started seeing a therapist?

[AlwaysOverThinking]

I am really sorry to hear that something happened to you.When we are bombarded with emotion, physical sensations, adrenal symptoms, rumination, plus everything else, it becomes very easy to shut down and feel like we shouldn't be here. How else are we supposed to cope when we are being assaulted on literally every level all at once. There is no trick to this, no right answer.

I have certainly been there and it frightened me how calm I was accepting defeat. All I could do was sit in it for a bit. Trying really hard not to fight it, judge it, criticise it, feel guilty about it was all I could do. To let myself feel those things because it's normal. This shit is more than hard, it's soul destroying at times, but finding something you can hang on to that keeps you putting one foot in front of the other.

At the start for me it was simply holding on to the part of myself that knew it was possible to live differently, because I had seen others do it. Accepting that I was falling apart, that my life was totally run by my ocd and that I was going to be consumed by this. Allowing myself to be hurt, angry, and whatever type of crazy I needed to be because if this is what I needed to do to get through the next 5 minutes than so be it. We can only do the best with what we have at the time, and when we already have significant stresses and then something happens to completely throw us over the edge the fact that your even still up right is amazing.

Sometimes recognising that the increase in your ocd is your brain and bodies way of trying to cope with what's going on and understanding it is trying to take care of you is enough. Let yourself do what is necessary to get to the next moment and then when you have given yourself the space to do that, then you can begin to find the energy to start doing whatever you need to to recover and work on your ocd.

I may have missed the mark, but I hope some of this is at least relatable for you.

And then again sometimes just knowing there are others out there who feel like they are just as crazy helps 😏