CRAVING FOR HELP

[hopetobebetter]

Sorry for annoying all of you but I need help, please!

I am an 21 years old (m) and have been feeling pretty awful these last days. I have always been an caring and loving person to everybody. I had a very bad headache in Dec.30 . I didn't pay attention to that. But at Jan.1, I went out with some cousins, I ended up arguing with them very seriously because they were making jokes about me, and we left without speaking to each-other. In the morning I had severe headache. I was just thinking about what they did to me and was very sad, and was thinking about beating them when we meet. Since that day, I started having intrusive thoughts about harming my family members and got very sad. Looking on Reddit, I thought I had HARM OCD (pure), but I don't know how but I got somehow desinitised to these thoughts. Now they don't affect me very anxiety. Yesterday I was thinking why I stopped being stressed, and I thought: " WHAT IF THESE THOUGHTS WERE NOT CAUSED IMMEDIATLY? WHAT IF I AM REALLY AN HARMFUL PERSON BECAUSE I WANTED TO HARM MY COUSINS? WHAT IF I WAS NEVER AN GOOD PERSON? ".

These thoughts are making me feel like an psychopath. I just want to know if this is any kind of HARM OCD or just psychopathy? 🙏🏻🥲🥲

[Grouseman]

Hello, just my opinion but this sounds like OCD to me. OCD plays those games in your head. OCD says if I’m not upset about these thoughts then I must be who the thoughts are telling me I am. It’s difficult because we are all still individuals who get angry, sad, happy and yet deal with the OCD which can get confusing. It’s ok to get angry and to have other emotions. Stressful situations can also trigger the OCD making it confusing also. Separate yourself from the thoughts and continue to ignore them. Ruminating will only make it worse. I doubt you are a psychopath. Psychopaths aren’t bothered by these thoughts and are not remorseful

[hopetobebetter in reply to Grouseman]

Thank you brother

[Grouseman in reply to hopetobebetter]

You are welcome.