can anyone help?

[Horselover4life]

This past year has been unlike no other I 22 fm recently diagnosed ocd and I suffer mainly from magical thinking ocd but I do suffer from other types of ocd this is gonna be a long post so please be ready to dive into my brain maybe grab a snack or a drink and get cozy. Let’s go back to the start of the year when the event that completely changed my life took place year ago me checked into an air bnb as my family was on vacation oh the good times… had a great day decided to take a shower and shave my legs well I now regret this more then anything because somehow I convinced myself that my hair going down a drain equals me being stuck in a dream and with each passing day until the septic tank would be emptied would be another day longer I’d be stuck in a dream so to sum it up it’s been a year now and obviously it’s still not drained but for this example if it were to get drained today it would take a year to get out of a dream oh magical thinking I love you 🙄😩😒 so this has led me to experience derealization nothing feels real anymore can’t tell the difference between dreams and reality can’t leave my house because I’m scared everything I love will vanish so now every time I try to leave my body fights against me and I’ll literally jump out of the car the anxiety I feel from this is next level can’t handle it period I also avoid all drains and showers in fear it’ll make my “dream life” much worse now the tricky part I’ve tried everything I can up to this point to get help but due to this disorder I can’t work which also means no insurance and no money or help which leaves me umm we’ll flustered would be the safe word here but if you know you know so I can’t get help I can’t start meds I can’t leave I can’t care for myself what do I do in this situation do I go to an intensive care unit but make sure I get d*ugged before I get in the Ambulance scared this won’t work or make me literally have a heart attack I’ll convince myself not to go but I can’t keep living life this way I wanna go see Christmas lights with my boyfriend I wanna live I wanna not be so plucked I wanna go to a grocery store. Please help

I’m also terrified of medication what can I do?

[LuvSun]

You said you were diagnosed- have you been getting any treatment like therapy?

[Dolphin_08]

So sorry to hear about what you are going through! You don't deserve it. As someone who has suffered from OCD for around 6 years now, I can tell you that - although it can feel incredibly overwhelming at times - it definitely comes and goes in waves. There will be times when you feel good again, and when these intrusive thoughts aren't as strong and scary. I promise! So as you wait to get some professional help (eg. therapy, medication), I hope that knowing that better times lie ahead can help in some small way.

[AZladyforever]

You are very brave for reaching out and to me you have already taken the first step to get control back of your life. I am a mom of a son with severe OCD so I can only give you the advice based on helping him through some tough situations. Look at this in small steps and then decide what OCD is making you do that makes you feel the worst and start there. You HAVE to do an exposure that will make you feel very uncomfortable!!! You have to pick something that will force you to face your fears. It’s hard but you have to do it!!! I promise you will see improvement.

Good luck and remember we are all with you!!

[FirstResponder23]

I’m sorry to hear how hard this is. I am also currently going through another wave of ocd. Like someone else commented earlier, this comes in waves. Sometimes I can go a good period of time with ocd not bothering me, and then there are periods like this where it is loud. It’s very hard, but know that putting in the work and doing what is needed to boss back ocd will only help make things better in the long run. I pray you can find a strategy that helps you. We are all here and understand. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Natureloverpeace]

Many of us with OCD fall into the thought/action fusion trap. We think a thought and treat it as if it’s an action or will become an action. It’s an easy trap to fall into but thoughts don’t equal action. Thoughts are just thoughts. When we attach meaning to them or ruminate on them we just give ourselves emotional distress. Thoughts don’t have the power to create action.