intrusive though rumination

[jejdjsjsjsjjss]

hi

ive posted a lot here but the flare ups keep happening. i dont know how to get them to go away and like not ruminate on them because whenever i succsessfully dont they go away with time but the more i ruminate on them the worse they get. prefacing this by saying i dont really get like the image thoughts, more re/fm thoughts so basically itll attach itself to a memory and be like “you did this” “what if you did it and you cant remeber and youve traumatised them”. so yeah basically does anyone know how to stop ruminating because i feel like i cant stop until im certain i didnt do what it says i did or find a definite answer.

[mrpurple]

Hey, I've been going through the exact same thing as you are. I've been having false memory ocd and whenever I thought about anything unrelated it attached itself onto it and used it as "proof", saying I thought about it here when I really didn't. My whole experience has been not about what it said I did, but instead it took unrelated memories and warped them to make its hold over me stronger. I've been going through this for around 5 months now and I've had similar responses to you I kept thinking I NEED to know what happened to the point it drove me crazy. It's not easy to get through but it is possible, and in my experience distracting myself was probably the best thing I did to manage it. Things like being with friends or watching movies or going for a workout really helped me and put ocd in a backseat for a while and I've been trying to keep it up. One thing you have to remember is that this takes time to get through and you can have setbacks, I've had many myself, but I think if you want to stop ruminating then this would be a good place to start. I hope this helps

[Hidden in reply to mrpurple]

Thank you for your story. Gives me hope. Here if you need to talk with someone

[mrpurple in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. This is my first time sharing my story, the last few months have been an absolute nightmare to get through, glad to know now I got someone to talk to

[deValentin]

If I understand correctly, your ruminations seek a certainty that resists all doubts about the correctness of a memory. It’s like checking whether a stove is turned off. You check once, but a nagging doubt persists “maybe I didn’t pay close enough attention”. So, you check twice, but you’re still not fully satisfied “it looks like it was turned off, but my eyes could have deceived me”. You check a third time, are ready to leave, but wonders “can I trust my memory?” and return to the stove. This could go on forever because you become so stressed that you cannot trust your judgment anymore. The moral of the story is that you check once, pay close attention to what you’re doing or thinking and that’s the end of it. It is necessary to resist the temptation to check beyond what’s reasonable because the more you check, the more trust in yourself will decline, and the more the need to check will increase, especially if the stakes are high (my house could catch on fire or I may have traumatized somebody). I know it's not easy at first, but your quality of life depends upon your efforts. It's worth it in the end.