Acceptance SOOCD trigger warning

[Question1234]

I hope someone may be up to commenting and ok dealing with what I'm going to mention. If you are easily triggered by SOOCD content please don't keep reading.-------

My therapist had had me work through a compassion workbook. It's been very triggering to me and I have gone back to doing some compulsions when I was working on exposure therapy previously.

With the sexual orientation OCD I've really been struggling because so many times I feel like I'm a lesbian and the content is true. I know everyone feels this but I really feel it so strongly. The book was talking about how no thoughts or feelings are our fault and we can't control them. I feel like I'm mean to myself because of the feelings I have. I feel like a freak and wrong and hate myself that I have these feelings.

Tonight I told myself it's OK whatever I think or feel I know I'll be OK and find a way to handle things. I did checking compulsions and I feel like I'm attracted to women and I feel sexual things towards them.

I feel so certain it's true and my anxiety feels like it's gone. I feel like telling my mom it's true. Telling someone. I feel totally calm and like it's all ok. I just worry it will change and maybe it's still the OCD messing with me. I did the very things my therapist told me not to do but it feels very different this time. Like I finally accepted myself and this is how I feel. I don't want to tell anyone because I worry it's just the OCD sucking me in and making me feel certain

[Focusedmind]

I think it is good that you are accepting the way you are feeling about yourself. That you are having strong feelings may be the OCD, but it also may be that these are your true feelings and you should accept them and yourself for thinking about them.

Either way, you have come to the right place. We are a welcoming and open community. Please feel comfortable with asking your questions here.

[WilliamG]

I’d recommend discussing your sexual orientation epiphany with your therapist before announcing it to your mom. There was a guy here who went through something very similar to what your describing. He thought he’d finally found his answer, so he made announcements on Facebook and to his family, and he ended up regretting it. I don’t say this to suggest that what your experiencing is not real and true and important, but with OCD it might be worth waiting a couple weeks to discuss it with your therapist before making it public. There’s no harm in waiting, but there could be harm in rushing it. Good luck!

[OCDme2]

Maybe you're bisexual, which is OK, too..or maybe you can come out as bisexuality or bi-curious. Being curious about your sexual feelings and sexuality is normal. I hope no one, including yourself, is being judgemental about this. And it's OK to not even label yourself and love and be sexual with whom you love, regardless of your or your lover's birth sex.Take good care. I'm sorry your OCD gets in the way of this.