New-introducing myself!

[bubblyviolin]

Hi everyone! I am really thankful to have found this community. I was diagnosed with OCD probably about a year ago now, and have been working very hard with my clinical therapist since. I tend to struggle the most with relational OCD, but we've discovered that the OCD does creep up in nearly every area of my life. It has been SUCH a tough battle, guys! I still fight embarrassment and shame over having it, which I'm working through. I know it's not my fault that I have it, and that my brain is just shaped differently and works differently, but it can really be so isolating feeling, hence why I'm here! I do have an incredible support system with friends, my counselor, and especially my sweet husband. But it will be nice to be a part of a community that is very open and free about speaking on the day to day battles of our mind. I will say that the more I discover ocd patterns in my brain, the more victory I can have over it. For me, I deal a lot with intrusive thoughts: fears, lies, images, etc. It can be really tricky, sneaky, and honestly quite persuasive!!! Sometimes, it will be intrusive thoughts about my marriage. Sometimes it's intrusive thoughts about what others perceive of me. Usually, it's related to my marriage, or my violin playing (I'm a professional violinist and perform in orchestras). But, through counseling and tons and tons of introspection and work on my own part, I've been learning how to stop allowing the intrusive thoughts to derail an evening, or my even my day. It's definitely a battle, sometimes hourly! But there is so much hope. And honestly, those of us who struggle with this are some of the strongest, bravest people! It is no small battle what goes on in our minds. But we have gotten this far, right? I hope to continue sharing my story and finding others with similar stories, so we can encourage and exhort one another to live boldly in the present moment, not in fear. My counselor often will say this is a fear disorder- and I really think that's true. It's all based on what-ifs, and fear right? At least for me, it is. Also, I am considering trying medication soon as my counselor strongly believes it will assist in lessening the intensity of an "OCD flare up" as I call it- (when your mind is caught in a rabbit hole of intrusive thoughts and just obsessing to the point of a mental break down). Has anyone else tried medication for their OCD? What did you find that helped, and what didn't help? I'm really curious and hopeful that I can find something to just lessen the intensity and allow me to cope better when it's really loud in my mind. Again, I'm pretty new here in my discovery of OCD, and have lots more to learn. I'm still learning to identify when something is OCD, and not reality, and how to call that out and dismiss it, so that it doesn't control or derail the day. But, gosh it's hard. I definitely still have a day at least once a week where my mind is so busy and overwhelming that I literally have a mental break down on the couch just crying on my husbands shoulder while he comforts and listens to me. So, for sure this is a long journey and a work in progress. But, already, I have been able to break old patterns and habits, and identify a lot of ocd thinking patterns which helps me shut it off and move on. It doesn't make it easier, but it allows for me to better live my life fully, without living in constant "what-if" land. I can't wait to hear from others with similar struggles, and to know that I am SO not alone in this battle. Let's encourage and exhort one another to continue onward, we got this guys!

[LuvSun]

Welcome! It sounds like you are on the right track with handling your OCD in such a short time after being diagnosed. A lot of us have struggled for a long time before getting the help we need. You asked about medication. I have had some relief with fluoxetine ( generic for Prozac ). It seems to help dampen the thoughts. Keep up your positive outlook. Glad you reached out. You will find a lot of encouragement from others here and you are definitely not alone.

[Natureloverpeace]

Welcome! You’re definitely not alone in this since OCD is common. This is a good place to come for encouragement and understanding.

[SCC1]

Welcome to the Community! There is a lot of support here from people who are going through the same or different struggles related to OCD. We are all in this together!

[Mcfly64]

Welcome bubblyviolin. I think medication would definitely help. Your doctor and a good psychiatrist would be best for advice I think. I love the violin 🎻 by the way. You must be very talented 🙏

[whispers_and_eyes]

hi I’m new here too I would like to say thank you for your post I don’t feel so alone

I don’t have a support system and have tried 2 different medications but they both put me into a psychosis. And that was after finally pushing past my thoughts for a month or more with each med. it’s hard when the fear in some way “wins” because I had a bad reaction now I’m even more scared but I want so badly for this pain to end

No one I’ve tried to talk to really understands they think all I need is willpower and affirmation and prayers which I’ve done and have only added to my list of compulsions

I’m hoping with stories like yours it will keep me going and give me courage

[Sallyskins]

I think medication is worth trying - it certainly helps me! It does take 4-6 weeks before you feel the good effects of it, and it may make you feel really lousy before it starts to feel better.

It's best to use CBT alongside the medication in any case. It's great that you have a support system and a wonderful husband. Having OCD can be isolating but it is much alleviated if you know family and friends are there for you.

Keeping busy enough to drive out the OCD but not so busy that you overdo things is important. It can be difficult to still your brain as OCD keeps it so busy. It can be good to get out for a walk in a pleasant place - taking notice of beautiful surroundings can give your mind a rest.

Congratulations for holding down a job as a violinist! That's such a fabulous job. I should be interested to know how your OCD impacts on your playing, and how your playing impacts on your OCD. Being creative can put you in the state that psychologists call 'flow' where you're in the moment of making something - music, in your case - and all your concentration is on it, so it just feels like it all happens naturally.

Do get yourself one or two self-help books. There are lots on the market, but those that use CBT techniques are mostly useful. Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and The OCD Workbook have helped me. For intrusive thoughts, there is Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston and Martin Self - a print book but also an ebook and an audiobook if you prefer.

And remember that though OCD may be a fight, and you may have setbacks, it's a fight you can win. As it is, you sound like a very positive sort of person! CBT often involves lots of 'failures' but don't think of them as failures - they're attempts on the way to success. A bit like learning a new piece on the violin, maybe!

[Hidden]

hi bubblyvioin

My son is 11 and has tics/OCD. He plays the violin and is currently experiencing sensory issues with his shoulder rest and constantly lifts his head as he is playing. I was wondering if you might have some advice? He wants to try for a music scholarship but his playing is suffering like this.