I'm new here. Rough day today

[RoseyCowXL]

I was diagnosed with OCD in November by my psychiatrist. I was put on Zoloft before that diagnosis for my depression. I'm now at 200mg max of Zoloft for my OCD and I'm also doing therapy. My OCD is obsessing thoughts, harm OCD. If it's a thought that bothers me, or a thought from the past I start obsessing of the thought, especially an intrusive thought of harm. My symptoms started about 10-13 years ago. That's when I didn't know my obsessive thoughts were OCD. I suffered a lot thinking what is wrong with me. Eventually it subsided and I did have flare ups within the years. Still, I didn't know it was OCD. Until last summer my OCD ramped up triggered by family problems and thyroid problems. By October came I seeked professional help and a psychiatrist. At first she diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. But at the same time I was afraid and ashamed to tell my therapist of the harming thoughts because I thought the worse would happen if I did. That's when my therapist told my psychiatrist and my psychiatrist said I have OCD.

With Zoloft I am more happier but of course I still have my ups and downs. Well today and yesterday are down days. It seems being really tired and worn out triggers my emotions which triggers my OCD thoughts. I worry about what if I ruminate again and when I have an obsessive thought what tools that I learned can I use to help. So I write my tools down in order to help me but I learnt that THAT is my OCD. I don't trust that I know what to do and I am afraid of being stuck again. Most days I can accept my OCD and I can stop putting up the fight with it. But with my down days I fight my OCD and try to control it and fix it.

Does anyone else have obsessive thoughts? I've learned to delay them, to take better care of myself, to try mindfulness but not as a compulsion. To accept the thought as just a thought at try to let it go. Anyone else have tips? Thank you.

[MothFir]

This particular therapist helped me make real progress on reducing and eliminating ruminating. He helped me see that a lot of what I thought were uncontrollable obsessions was actually me actively ruminating and keeping the thoughts alive. Check out some of the articles here:

drmichaeljgreenberg.com/

He was also on The OCD Stories podcast a couple times (c. late 2020 - 2021). He has some strong and sometimes controversial opinions, but a lot of what he says resonates with me.

[RoseyCowXL in reply to MothFir]

Thank you so much! I will definitely check this out more tomorrow, it is late here for me. So far by looking at it it looks like great info and can help me understand rumination more and exercises for me to try out. I appreciate it

[XoxoFaith]

I haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I think I might have it Iam always thinking what if I have this or what if today I start feeling this do you think those are symptoms of ocd or just my depression and anxiety or if you can tell me symptoms of ocd please thanks

[RoseyCowXL in reply to XoxoFaith]

I do think that is OCD. I think it's called health OCD or it could be health anxiety. Google up the differences and check it out. OCD can take on different ways. Cleaning, having things symmetrical, obsessive thoughts or images, about your health, contamination. The list goes on and on. But definitely do some research. I hope you get some answers and get it diagnosed by a doctor. *hug*

[3BirdLover]

Does your therapist have training in treating OCD patients? If not, please find one that does. I wasted years with therapists that helped depression (I guess), but they didn't know how to help me with OCD. Two years ago I found a therapist that really knows OCD. It made a HUGE difference. She gave me all kinds of tools and helped me with so many resources that now I can cope when I'm triggered. I have had all kinds of OCD and Harm and intrusive thoughts were horrible. You MIGHT find out that the Zoloft isn't the med for you as well. I have been on many different ones. But you really need to have the right therapy to help you. ❤️

[RHCPfan]

I totally agree that a therapist who knows OCD can be very helpful.