Parent of 21yr old daughter with INTRUSIV... - My OCD Community

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Parent of 21yr old daughter with INTRUSIVE thoughts


I am desperate for my daughter. She has been diagnosed with OCD since she was about 14 years old. Her INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS are making her life unbearable and common language she is currently using includes 'life isn't worth it if it's going to be like this' and other phrases that indicate suicidal ideation, without a plan. She is angry at the world, easily aggravated and breaks down in tears of deep internal anguish out of exhaustion, frustration and self hate.

She is my hero and has battled away to achieve various work and study goals. None of which have come easily. Her OCD thoughts tell her that she is not good enough, not patient enough in her role as an Enrolled Nurse, when the opposite is true. She is highly committed and goes the extra mile in caring for her elderly patients. Despite this she goes home feeling like a terrible nurse, horrible carer and as a result is currently wanting to stop working in an area she loves because of these INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. She feels alone and needs support from another person preferably of similar age going through similar issues and being coached and helping each other. She is somewhat skeptical of professionals who in her opinion don't know what it's like except from books. Although she does mostly take regular Fluvoxomine to assist her.

I guess I'm trying to start the ball rolling for her to make connections with like minded normal people who just happen to have some difficult thoughts to deal with. She is a loving caring a friendly person, who has so much self doubt. I know she will involve herself with the right people on a site like this and that she will join in her own right, it's just at this point she is so low I am making some initial enquiries / steps on her behalf and with her permission.

Thank you for reading and I hope someone can help her make some positive connections

Concerned Dad.

19 Replies

Hey I’m Matthew I’m 21 and I know exactly how she feels I’ve got anxiety and ocd too and I have contamination and intrusive thoughts ocd so I’m always here if she or you ever need or want to talk or anything im in the uk

calmme in reply to matthew2909

Thanks Matthew. I will be sure to pass on this information to her. I Hope she will join soon and I wish you the best. We are in Australia, but thank God for the internet

matthew2909 in reply to calmme

Aww I’ve got Instagram wattsapp and kik if she has any of them I don’t mind adding her

Hello . my name is runaway12- age 24, i am also suffering from OCD and have serious anxiety issues.

I have had hard time during my university education, because that's where my OCD went serious severe!

its went bit down not too severe now however its hard to life with, i also had suicidal thoughts and lost any interest in life. i am still the same when it comes to life, i am usually bored, and not interested on it anymore!

However my suicidal thoughts has gone away, you have to keep fighting just like people do no matter what hard times you face,

I am on Fluoxetine drug's on more than 4 years now!

I will be happy to help your daughter whenever she needs support!


runaway12 in reply to runaway12

Just forgot to tell i am from Fiji

calmme in reply to runaway12

Thankyou I am also on a dose of 300mg fluvoxamine but currently been going on to a new medication

I have a story very similar to your daughter's. For me, a mix of a low SSRI to help control my anxiety and CBT really helped. I highly recommend the book BrainLock. It's available on Amazon and gave me a lot better coping mechanisms, with practice of course. It's tough and I definitely feel for her, but she CAN do this.

Wish I could say more than I understand what you are both going through. I have been there too with my OCD. For me it helps to remember that somewhere in it all there is a cycle or pattern to it. I’m either getting along fine, just getting by, or life sucks. It doesn’t always suck and I live for those times while I work on figuring out how to work on the sucky days...just know they will pass with time. Keep looking for new ways and things that bring joy and happinesses.

Just a thought after reading in one of the comments about Fluvoxamine and switching meds... The worst times in life for me (I’m 56!) are when I miss doses or change my meds. Things can go bad really quick!

Hi how are you and welcome. Can I ask if she is getting any treatment? You can private message if you prefer. I had to go thru many treatments at her age coupled with hormone effects.

My daughter is in quite the similar situation. Plz feel free to reach out if you'd like to connect further. Take care.

Dear Calmme: I am 75 years old with OCD Intrusive thoughts all my life. In fact, they began when I was your age, at 14 years old and if affected me playing baseball, in school, in life choices, (made some bad choices).

Now that I am 75, my thoughts are managed well as I have learned to ignore them and to realize that they are just thoughts and nothing else. They are certainly not real and when you learn to laugh and ignore them, they lose their

hold on you and eventually fade away. Just believe you are a good person loved by God and and these thoughts are not you. Please learn to ignore them and remember you are a special person worthy of only good things. My name is Harvey and I live in Houston, Texas.

Dear Concerned Dad,

I'm also a nurse with OCD. It's challenging because one of my issues is fear of doing harm and of course as a nurse you actually CAN do harm. I have had many instances of thinking, "I'm the worst nurse in the world." People with OCD are very hard on themselves & nurses are also very hard on themselves. Tell your daughter I joined this group especially to meet some other health professionals struggling with OCD. I would love to hear from her and send hugs. By the way, I was 31 when I started as a nurse. Could never have gotten through nursing school when I was 21 with all that anxiety. Your daughter sounds like Superwoman to me! Lisa in US

Hi, Your daughter sounds like mine. I could have written this: "Her INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS are making her life unbearable and common language she is currently using includes 'life isn't worth it if it's going to be like this' and other phrases that indicate suicidal ideation, without a plan." My daughter "Anna" (not her real name) is 24. She is a talented writer with great potential but, unfortunately, her budding profession contributes to her isolation. I just wanted to offer a "hello" and a virtual hug. She's lucky to have such a loving, empathetic dad.

"Elizabeth" (not my real name)

I hope you find someone who can relate to your daughter- my son is only 10 and has similar intrusive thoughts- we are doing everything we can to help him and pray he can overcome this while young.. I am sorry for your daughter and your pain I understand..

My daughter is 23, diganoised with severe OCD at 11. My daughter takes the Same medications, check into clomipramine, it’s the oldest OCD medication and can be added to the fluvoxemine (Luvox), that’s what we do now. Medication alone will not help her, she needs ERP therapy. Not sure where you live but google Rogers Behavioral for OCD. They are the best and I think the oldest for OCD. They also have satilite centers across the country. My daughter greatly benefited from them. My daughter as well tried TWO suicide attempts, one landing her in ICU for a week. We were fortunate to get into the five week residential ( Rogers) in Wisconsin, we live in Florida.. insurance covered most, but they also have financial assistance. If you are on this site, you have done research to find it. Keep it up! Her happiness is possible! Don’t let her try to only fix with medications.. we allowed our daughter to tell us only medications and that’s when she had the suicide attempts. Therapy is a must! And it has to be by someone who specializes in OCD.

Hello Concerned Dad,

I am 51 years old and have had OCD since I was 15. Yes, its BRUTAL. I am so sorry that your daughter has to suffer with it. As a parent, I know that you would take the burden from her if you could and bear it yourself, but you can't.

There are three pieces of advice that I can offer as a veteran of 36 yrs of OCD: One, I strongly recommend that she find a therapist that once had OCD, specializes only in OCD and knows how to teach cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Second, correct medication and dosage. In this blog somewhere, someone said that a swab test is available where they test your DNA to see what the BEST medication would be for your daughter's OCD. Apparently, it cost only $ 200 to have test done - weel worth it. Thirdly, and to me most importantly, is a close relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the Light in the dark times. He is the Anchor of our souls when all about us seems stormy and desparate.

I will be praying for you and your daughter. We are all in this together. Best, davidovergoliath

CBT is good, but it’s not as effective as Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) combined with meditation for OCD . CBT was what my college therapists used with me and it never worked for me. But ERP and meditation do, though they take a while to work.

Meditation four times a day. I struggled with OCD at age 10, then it left and came back and has been present for for ages 14-27. However, at 27 ( this year) I began seeing a new psychologist who has 20 or more years of experience. He would gently remind me to do “progressive muscle relaxations” (a form of meditation you can easily find on YouTube) every time I met with him, because the first several times I met with him I refused to listen. For me, reassurance was what I was accustomed to. After 3 weeks, the meditation began to work and my symptoms were reduced. Meditation is the closest thing to a cure but you have to practice it regularly.

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