Performance Pressure

[Reader_]

I'm writing after really long time,

so the thing is my semester 1 results came in half a month ago and I topped in the class and probably in whole batch, you'd think that makes me happy but no!!

either my brain tells me to not ahead of myself and be overconfident or I get afraid that I can't keep the score up till second sem(you see the results of 1st year will the avg of both 1st and 2nd sem)so scoring good in first sem would mean nothing if I don't continue to do great. And BTW this semester is a little tough for me.

also people keep telling me you are a topper and all which is kind of annoying coz it increases performance pressure.

You see I never want to worry 'bout the marks I just want to enjoy learning new concepts which I'm not able to do since this "performance pressure" is created.

[Sisu_Orchid44]

I understand where you're coming from. I am a first-gen honors student, and I just finished my first year. It has been extremely difficult overcoming the "performance pressure", especially when I had a sort of "mental relapse" during my second semester (due to my mother dying) and my grades dropped. It's hard when you perform well and everyone expects those results, not knowing what you put yourself through to get them. The only thing I can say is what I keep saying to myself, "You are not your performance. You are not your grades and you are not defined by how others judge you". Try thinking of your work apart of yourself, separating the emotional attachment you have with it. I am a hypocrite when it comes to this, but I'm working on it lol. Try to write out all the things that define you: aspects of your identity, hobbies, values, etc. It helps. Also, try to rediscover your love for learning. It helps you absorb the information better when it doesn't feel like a chore or a high-stakes test. Good luck!