Uncertain

[hnb1556]

I've been diagnosed with OCD and I agree I have it because my "symptoms" and compulsions "made sense" in the way they manifested when I was a child- needing things perfect and equal.

Now my symptoms are so different, I wonder if anyone else has thoughts or compulsions like mine?

My therapist and psychiatrist have both told me my suicidal thoughts are OCD, and that my eating disorder was OCD. Sometimes I'm very hot and cold with people. I still check doors/stove/locks, hand wash frequently, and I know cleaning my cat's box is a compulsion for me- and to me that "makes sense" as OCD to me, but some of the other symptoms just make me feel isolated.

I hope this all makes sense, thank you for any feedback.

[Bookishbunny]

It really makes sense. For me, everything that I thought was normal turned out to be OCD-related. Compulsions don't make sense because they are in nature irrational. Mine vary so much that I question if they are compulsions (a compulsion in and of itself ). Give yourself grace and know you aren't alone. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

[IStillHaveHope]

I'll echo what Bookishbunny said. It makes sense to me as well.

As I began to pay attention to my OCD more I was able to see that even subtle thoughts and feelings were just OCD. That was a bit of a revelation to me and I think it helped me out a bunch.

Also, the thoughts and feelings with OCD can change as you get older. Things that once really bothered me don't anymore. The OCD just "moved" to a different topic. I used to feel so weird, so misunderstood, and so alone. I thought nobody had thoughts like this or felt like this. As I've tried to understand more, I've found that my thoughts and feelings aren't uncommon at all and there's literally millions of people out there who feel the same way.

I guess what I'm saying is, that most everyone on this site knows exactly how you feel and what you're experiencing. It can feel isolating, but you're not alone. There are literally millions of people out there who want (and can) help you.

I really hope you find the peace you're looking for my friend.

Edit: Also, have you tried discussing what you're thinking and feeling with your therapist/psychiatrist? They've heard it all and I'm sure they'll want to help. It's what they're there for. It took me a while to talk with my therapist about the more embarrassing aspects of my OCD, but it helped me to face them more fully.

[LuvSun]

It makes total sense 😊

[waniniko]

Just to echo the others it make sense. My teen feared to share the thoughts and could cry alot and felt isolated. When we connected with a therapist she was able to share and got relieve also with Exposure therapy and medication too. Extend Grace to self dear one and talk to a therapist on the thoughts. Sending hugs and love all your way.