Gentle Reminder That You're Enough

[alexandraisobsessed]

Does anyone else have a hard time feeling enough?

I have had such a hard time with self-acceptance lately. It’s something I’ve been actively working on for a while. I want to feel that I’m enough. To take up space and be confident. To love myself with all of my imperfections and to truly believe in myself.

Sometimes, I really feel I do which is progress! But other times, I doubt myself a lot. I feel that I’m supposed to be on this quest for mental health perfection and I forget to appreciate where I’m at and who I am right now. I get caught up in thinking thoughts like “I’ll be such a great Mom when I’m done with my therapy” or “I’ll be so much happier when I’m done with this heirarchy my Dr. Is helping my build.”

The truth is I can be a really amazing Mom and a happy person right now. I don’t have to be fully recovered and healed from everything. I can be a good wife, friend, Mom, advocate and any other thing I want to be right in this moment because I am enough exactly as I am.

This is so hard for me to internalize. OCD loves to attack my self-image and tell me that I’m no good. That everyone hates me and that my family deserves a better wife and Mother.

Sometimes, I think that’s the biggest trap of all with OCD. You can never be happy with the present because you’re afraid of the future. That you won’t live up to expectations or that something bad will happen. You’re so busy being afraid of what could be that you don’t see the beauty in what’s right in front of you. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I will keep striving imperfectly to accept myself and appreciate the present as much as possible because I am enough.

You are too.

[Hidden]

I agree that because us OCD suffers worry what tomorrow will bring if we don't give in to the OCD ritual, and focus on that, rather than appreciating what is happening today. If we take the leap of faith and say what will be will be and ignore the compulsion, we will get to tomorrow and see that everything is fine, but it is the fear that it won't be is what stops that from happening. (Hope this makes sense). I have this love hate battle with OCD. Some days I win, others it do. I am under Italk therapy which is feel is a good service though.