Does anyone else get angry when ocd triggering events happen?

[Cat_world]

Hi,

Getting anxious and distressed when faced with ocd triggering situations are common but does anyone here feel extremely angry at the same time?

This anger is mostly towards the person who “created” or “instigated” the ocd triggering events happen in the first place if that makes sense.

For example, my mum this morning, was cleaning dirty pebbles she had picked up whilst on a walk in the kitchen sink. I am terrified of parasites especially after reading that ringworm eggs live in most types of dirt, are microscopic, can be easily transferred/inhaled when we come in contact with it and can survive for years until they find a live host (human intestines) to live in.

What makes me most anxious is that they cant be seen to the naked eye and can’t be killed with cleaning chemicals, which means I have no control over them. I am scared that these pebbles were infected with worm eggs (as they had lots of dirt on them) and now spread all over the sink, bench top and cloths/dishwashing sponge she used to clean them. Also possible pesticides residue on these pebbles. Now she used the same cloth she used to clean the pebbles to wipe the benchtop, utensils, dishes and dining table. She didn’t wash her hands properly after cleaning the pebbles and touched so many things around the house, now all surfaces feels infected and infested by parasite eggs (I read they tend to stick to surfaces and remain even if you wipe it down).

I was so so angry at my mum for washing those damn pebbles in the damn kitchen sink. Now I’m stuck in this pit of thinking about all the contaminated surfaces and that’s put me in such a bad mood. I can concentrate on anything. I don’t even want to eat in that kitchen anymore and I skipped breakfast although I’m starving.

I am also sort of angry/upset at myself for feeling this way and having to deal with and suffer intrusive, repetitive thoughts and images that will torment me for weeks, or even months. I think I am infuriated at the fact that my family (they know I have this condition) don’t seem to understand how much stress each of these kind of episodes cause and tell me I’m being irrational- so I’ve cut back on mentioning to them how I am feeling/discussing my symptoms to them. Makes me feel so alone. Now I need to deal with this all alone, stuck and crippled in this dark pit- like, never ending thoughts; whilst the “instigators” go about happy chappy with their lives - completely unaware and without worry.

This is seriously effecting my relationships with people as i either don’t/have stopped explaining why I am behaving differently/appear in a bad mood.

Another example, I was furious when my friends who bought raw fish and meat and brought it into my car, touched the contaminated plastic bags and packaging, touching my car seat, seat belt, door handles and switches. At first I freaked out but anger started building up inside me because I would need to be tormented with the image of them touching all the surfaces and me needing to somehow disinfect all these areas. All alone again. I acted differently and became very moody which made everyone uncomfortable as they didn’t know what was going on in my head.

Any comments or sharing of your own experience will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[blueturtle28]

Hi Cat_world...I understand what you are saying and feeling. Just yesterday as my husband a

[blueturtle28 in reply to blueturtle28]

As I was saying.....I was angry at my husband (I have ocd). Then I realized that he did not cause my issue but it is the disorder and I apologized to my husband. Placed the anger on the disorder. I tried like hell not to do the compulsions or avoid. Compulsions and avoiding only make ocd stronger and me weaker !!!!! We must get stronger and weaken the ocdisorder!

[Cat_world in reply to blueturtle28]

Hi yes, I am with you. In the back of my mind, I know that it’s not their fault because they don’t know what they are doing will set me off; but at the same time I am so emotionally and mentally drained that I tend to get angry at those around me. Thank you for sharing 🧡

[Ocdwarrior]

Yup! I have pocd and when it used to be really bad or flares up I would get upset at people when they triggered me. I knew it wasn't their fault because they weren't trying it trigger me, they don't know what it's like to have OCD and therefore don't think like I do. But for some reason I still got angry and upset with them. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[Hidden in reply to Ocdwarrior]

I think we hate to feel what we feel so much that we initially do lot understand how they could not "get it" and do something to cause the anxiety and all the things involved seem like the quickest and easiest reaction. I'm guilty of the same thing repeatedly.

[Cat_world in reply to Ocdwarrior]

Yes I completely agree. Most of the time my family have no idea what “seemingly normal everyday event” (well “normal” to people who don’t suffer from ocd at least) could trigger me. Sometimes, when I tell them what is making me anxious, they are very surprised to find out what got me worked up. A lot of the times, they (mostly my sister) say “it’s okay, your immune system is strong enough to fight against the germs” and tell me I’m overthinking again.

[SaltLakeNative]

I definitely have. It has alienated me at times even from my wife. The best thing I do now is to let them know that my OCD is on high alert and certain things bother me. I think they would rather have the honesty than not knowing why you are upset. Also, it is important to let them know you realize this is OCD, you are working on it, but that it isn't anything you can control any more than having a physical illness.

[Cat_world in reply to SaltLakeNative]

Yes I think I was more honest about it in the past, but because so many “little” things trigger me countless times throughout the day, I feel like I can’t be telling them every single thing that is bothering me or is getting me distressed. Otherwise it will be me bringing it to their attention literally non-stop, and I feel like I would be burdening my family members and making them feel uncomfortable. I do mention some, but not all and try to explain to them “it’s just the tip of the iceberg”

[WildernessMAn]

Hey CatYou are not alone

I too am learning HOW to better deal with my triggering events that through me off balance. Together wecan make it though One day at a time. I Stand with you in Solidarity. The Power of WE.

[Hidden]

How does everyone deal with their ocd at work when it's bad?

[God-is-love3]

Hello Cat_world and everyone,

Thank you for sharing what you are going through because talking these things out is most important to healing, for all of us.

It is very important to communicate how you are feeling to your loved ones and friends, even if they can’t fully understand.

I am a believer in God and Jesus Christ, and wanted to share this article on OCD from a Christian website.

ocdandchristianity.com/?pag...

Jesus loves us very much, even to die for us to be forgiven of all our past present and future sins.

He will help you! Keep seeking his help and help from others!

God bless you and be with you, Amen!

[dutchgirl71]

You took the words right out of my mouth….everything you said is exactly how I feel. I know people don’t realize their simple actions cause us so much distress. I am trying really hard to manage this but it has effected many relationships. I can apologize to family members who know about my ocd….but at work I fear people just think I am a jerk.

[Cat_world in reply to dutchgirl71]

I think it’s impossible for people without ocd to really understand what we are going through which makes it so hard.