Help me with this please..

[sjkout]

Hi all, i dont know but i red alot about OCD and i guess i have it, i need help..

I've been married for 4 years and i get thoughts about horrible things that my wife is cheating on me, it keeps rotating in my head and i feel crazy sometimes wanting to scream or hurt my wife or my self so badly sometimes even to do drugs to end my life or feel sick.

I guess this started very early in my life when my older brother was bullying me as a kid and my dad used to hit me and shout at me as a kid i still remember these things even when they are very nice to me now, i know things changed and everyone loves me but i keep getting these thoughts.

my marriage in the other hand is troubled, i went through my wife's phone so many times and accused her of cheating on normal things. last time we had a big fight and i called her mother and my mother and told them that she is cheating on me and we we're about to get a divorce but than she came back after a day and told me that she doesn't want to get a divorce and we can still fix this, we're starting a marriage consultation session this week and i'm afraid to lose her because what i have, please help me with what ever i'm going through its hard and i'm really afraid that i would do more damage.

[IStillHaveHope]

Hello,

First I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. It's sounds awful.

Second, I wouldn't just guess you have OCD. From my experience, some of the things you're talking about sound like OCD but the only way to know for sure is to be diagnosed. If it were me I would have an honest conversation with my doctor. I would also ask if he thinks a referral to a therapist or psychiatrist would be useful. He may also prescribe some medicine to help.

When I first went to my doctor and told him what was going on it was very scary. I didn't know what was happening to me and my mind was telling me all sorts of crazy things like "you're losing your mind" or, "they're going to commit you" or, "you should be able to handle this yourself". I actually broke down and cried in his office (which was awkward since I'm kinda a big dude). I know now that those were all just OCD thoughts.

Know this too. You are not alone in this. There are literally millions of people in this country who have mental health issues. There are also millions of people out there who are committed to helping you get better; and I mean COMMITTED. They know what it feels like to be at their worst and to recover. They know it is possible and work to help those who are where they were.

I'm praying for you and your wife. I know how hard it is. I know the storm you're in very well and how much it sucks to be in. I also know that all storms end eventually.

I don't know if any of this helps, but I pray you will find your path to recovery. God bless you.