My mind is repeating everything now. Same phrases over and over. Why don't you .....yourself . Your life is over..just end it. Take a bottle of pills...your a bad mom ...my mind will not rest for a second. Non stop talking in there .
Suggestions ?
The only medication left is Citilapram...had Extreme side effects from others.
Aware of every single thought.. and monitoring them , also hyper ware of eating, swollowing, thinking - body sensations ..
I feel I am dissociatiated? Like the inner dialogue is not mine anymore.
Werid thoughts - am I real ? Are they real ? Humans are weird, and a few paranoid thoughts now.
I have a lot of chatter in my mind going on constantly. I wake up in the middle of the night with my mind racing. I'm trying meditation and once in awhile yoga. Meditation is hard but it seems to be helping. I need to be more in the present and appreciate life and my daughter.
I really appreciate that you are struggling so much. I am on Citalopram for years and it has been a huge help to me. I still suffer but managable It sounds like you need professional help and support.
It's not your fault. I have this , It got horrible OCD after my third child and it took me 9 months of misery to finally find the correct OCD Doctor that put me on 80 mg of Prozac. Don't give up You need to up your meds. I take 40 mg of lexapro and clonazepam to quiet the thoughts.. Then I slowly bring my OCD down to 20 mg...I've had this for 30 years....It waxes and wanes. The only time it gets really bad is when I go off my meds... It's horrendous but it will get better.
I have suicidal themed ocd. You aren’t alone. You aren’t too far gone. Yesterday I had a doozy of a thought and it sent me down a little. I’m here for you if you want to chat. 🥰
Hey love! I’m so glad you came here as you were feeling this way. I too struggle with similar thoughts and severe OCD. Firstly, it is the reassurance you “feel” you need to stop the thoughts. You have to take some of this pressure off yourself. Physically, humans are incapable of stopping thoughts, so you can’t avoid it. Let them come, and let them go. (What the hell did she just say?) I know. In order for us to do this, we must allow the thought, to decrease intrusive thoughts. The more you think about being a bad mother, the more the OCD will drag it out. Tell yourself the THOUGHTS are real and true. The content however is clouded. I know you feel like you need to reassure yourself to stop these thoughts.. you have to try hard not to . If you ask yourself if you’re a bad mom but your baby tells you he/she loves you..that’s the reassurance. If you take the pills, you won’t be able to receive that “constant” reassurance from the love of your child. Let the thought come, tell yourself “ok, this is happening,” breathe, and tend to something productive as you are thinking this. Clean, hug your baby, listen to music. Follow up with your doctor and please keep me posted. I hope this helps! Stay safe, we need you here!
I feel for you. There are so many obsessions and compulsions that are individual. Medicines may help. Try Buspar for anxietyTry to distract your mind by helping others or getting some job that will get you hopefully in diverting your thoughts. Don’t ever give up you can improve your OCD.
I completely relate! Have you tried any kinds of therapy? I’ve found speaking to someone about my problems helps a lot. Usually when I’m hyper aware of everything in my body it feels like I’ll never be relaxed again but eventually it gets better on its own, as if my brain tires of being so anxious. You won’t feel like this forever! Sending you my love and support.
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