Hi Friends - new here and a parent with a 12 year old recently diagnosed. We are still in the phase where meds are being introduced and he has been on Prozac 20 mg for about 3 weeks now. He has improved already, but his big challenge right now is the intrusive thoughts and asking for forgiveness. He also gets worried about associating certain things like his phone with bad memories.
My guess is we need to be patient and continue to let the meds kick in, but I was just curious if folks on here had any advice (besides patience) as we work through the issues? He usually brings up issues probably about 7-8 times a day which I guess is not significant in the grand scheme, but we are just trying to get used to this process. I don’t really know what is “typical”.
One thing I have learned is that when he is in a loop, it’s the OCD talking and not him and I need to remember that. It seems to also get a bit tougher later in the day when he is tired.
Would welcome any words of wisdom here from fellow patients or caretakers.
Thank you
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NYRanger73
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Hi and welcome. I am sorry to hear that your son is struggling. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing, especially in recognizing that when he is in a loop that it is the OCD and not him. My heart goes out to you and to him, I suffer from OCD and I am also the mom of a 22 year old daughter who has suffered from this disorder since the age of 3. It's good that he seems to be responding to Prozac. What has really helped my daughter tremendously was starting with a counselor who incorporated ERP into her therapy. Honestly, that was what gave her back her life. I would encourage you to seek out a therapist who uses ERP. Exposure Response Prevention is a therapy that encourages you to face your fears and let obsessive thoughts occur without 'putting them right' or 'neutralizing' them with compulsions. I wish you well.
Thank you so much for the response! I have read that ERP is a great thing to do. We have started to do that with him and he is definitely taking some strong steps there. It’ll be a work in progress for awhile but we will get through it.
I wish you and your daughter all the best as well. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I have found myself extremely stressed from all of this, and I’m trying to fight through that as well. I am finding that I try to take the burden off or micromanage him and I need to step back and be more of a support. My wife definitely handles it better than I do.
I have also found that a great therapist and a great psychologist go many many miles. Fortunately we have been blessed with both, and hopefully that will have good impacts.
Hi trailwalker53,I'm glad your daughter has managed to control her OCD thanks to ERP. But I'd really like to know how she's managed to endure all the negative feelings, anxiety, and discomfort that come with this therapy. Many OCD sufferers find this "sit with the anxiety" method extremely hard. Could you share your daughter's experience and give me some advice please? I have contamination OCD by the way. Thanks in advance
Hi Izibella.....ERP has helped my daughter tremendously but it has not cured her. She still struggles everyday......she has good days and bad days. She is on Zoloft which helps her manage the anxiety and stress that comes with the therapy. She also spent 3 months at an inpatient OCD program, OCDI in Massachusetts. They are the ones who were able to stabilize her on the right med and teach her the tools she needed to start ERP. So its actually a combination of a lot of things, a good therapist, the right medicine, and support from family and friends. OCD is so painful and it affects so many areas of our life. I wish you the best, hang in there!
Our son is 17 and was diagnosed last April. His OCD is severe with the intrusive thoughts. Like trailwalker53 said, ERP is suppose to be the gold standard. Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN has a one week out patient program that is covered by insurance, ours is BCBS of NM, and they teach the parent and the patient how to write an exposure for themselves and how to use it to bring down their anxiety. It was hard, but it made us feel like we could help and we had directions to help us do it right. If you find a good therapist in your area, that's great, but it wasn't available to us in our town or even 45' away. There are some good books too. We really liked Overcoming Unnwanted Innstrusive Thoughts by Drs. Sally Winston and Martin Seif.
I agree that he should do ERP therapy in conjunction with meds. I have taken fluoxetine for for OCD for about 20 years and it has helped, but I only recently got serious about therapy. It makes a huge difference. Now I can better recognize my obsessive thought patterns and the rituals/ruminations that I've always used to give myself short-term relief, but only make OCD stronger in the long run. ERP is challenging but it works.
Definitely talk to your therapist(s) about your concerns and how to best help your son. If he is asking for reassurance about being forgiven, then giving him that reassurance will only reinforce his OCD. I think the usual recommendation is for family to just refuse to provide reassurance, which can be hard when you desperately want to relieve his pain. But by replying with something like "You know we can't answer that because it only makes your OCD stronger" you can help him starve the disorder of what it craves.
Perhaps in the beginning you could agree to answer his concerns once or twice a day instead of 7 or 8. I have checking compulsions (among others!) and one of the best things my therapist did for a certain obsession was limit me to 1 check for every 30 minutes of the activity. By limiting the number of times you provide reassurance, he will be forced to decide if he wants to "spend" his request for reassurance on his current obsession, or whether he can tough it out and "save" his request in case a stronger obsession appears. Putting a cost on the compulsion forces the sufferer to reconsider whether it really has to be done. The compulsions give easy relief, and we sufferers often have more strength to resist them than we think we do.
Alternatively, you could start keeping track of his number of requests for reassurance per day and chart them out. Maybe offer rewards for consistently reducing them. Whatever might give your son a little extra motivation to tolerate the discomfort of resisting the compulsions.
Good luck and kudos for getting help for your son. I had loving parents but not much help was available for OCD when I was his age. If I'd been forced to confront the disorder in my childhood it would have saved me a lot of trouble as an adult!
Thank you! Your comments are so very helpful and comforting. I think my wife is much better with the OCD loops and being able to compartmentalize it. I just want to fix it and that is not the ultimate path.
Our psychologist has been very methodical about the meds in order to ensure that he can tolerate. We are on 20mg Prozac (started with 10mg first 2 weeks) and we see her this Wednesday where I suspect she will take it up to 40mg. She definitely didn’t want to go straight to 60mg because as she put it, it could dull him too fast and she wants him to understand what he is dealing with (at least I think I understood that right).
I look forward to continuing our dialogue. It’s so helpful to know that we aren’t alone. Sadly, I think many go misdiagnosed and it can lead down some tough paths, but by sharing here we can all educate one another.
Hang in there! I am 44 and wish my parents had caught my OCD at 12!! Your son will definitely get better! I too attended the OCDI in MA and made great strides! They bumped me from 20mg to 60mg of Flouxetine. I found it helpful to level the playing field. I've also found Shannon Shy super helpful! He's a peer support specialist and recovered from the very worst of OCD! He just released a new book called "Turning Points" (foreward by Dr. Michael Jenike). Would highly recommend to order a copy! Hang in there...you are def on the right track!
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