OCD and special events

[Pemi23]

Hello,

Has anyone ever dealt with obsessive thoughts around special events? Such as birthdays, weddings, etc. That they have to be perfect and if not, they are meaningless. And if those events are meaningless then life is meaningless. My wedding, which was in 2017, was difficult. My husband was having mental health issues the year leading up to it. And the day of, there were several stressful moments (including our priest being a total jerk and my mother-in-law being displeased with the wedding.) it’s been three years and I still upset about it on and off, and when it’s bad, I am very depressed and anxious. wondering if anyone has dealt with this before, and I am by all means not looking for reassurance that the day was probably good despite the stress, because I do a lot of reassurance seeking around that. Thank you very much.

[blueturtle28]

Hi, I also experience ocd around special events. However, I try to not have intrusive thoughts....I want a serene mind. I know that is impossible! If I had an uncomfortable thought I would do a compulsion and all would be well, until the next obsession. But, I fortunately have had erp and working hard on allowing thoughts. Gatherings , like parties, bring excitement which is a similar feeling to anxiety. Are you seeing an ocd therapist? Hopefully, they are using erp!! It does help.

You are not alone.

blueturtle28

[Pemi23 in reply to blueturtle28]

It’s good to not feel alone! It helps to normalize and remind us that this is OCD. We may feel stuck alone in our heads but there are others like us who understand. I have not been doing ERP with my therapist but I’ve been hearing a lot about it, and she plans to refer me to an OCD specialist soon. So I will look into that. Thank you!

[3BirdLover]

I get OCD around events, but mine is more about something that I have to host. Everything must be perfect, the food must be perfect, my house must be spotless, I have to be the perfect host (whatever that is). I would so much like to just throw caution to the wind and have people over without going through all of this. I have to admit, because of my anxiety,i will rarely have people over, for a meal especially. It frustrates me and tires me before I ever begin. I have trouble making decisions about food to serve, etc. that I get into a store and cannot make up my mind. I have to say that this is something I need to work on.

[Pemi23 in reply to 3BirdLover]

Yes, mine is definitely around being a host! I don’t seem to mind being a guest at all. But being a host comes with all sorts of high anxiety thoughts including extreme pressure for everything to be perfect and if not if feels catastrophic. It’s truly not even worth it to host parties because of the suffering it causes me. My wedding was 3 years ago and I still have anxiety attacks around the things that went wrong.

I was just told by my psychiatrist that acceptance and commitment therapy are helpful for this. I’m going to try it in therapy and also with workbooks, if you want I can let you know if it helps.

[3BirdLover in reply to Pemi23]

Yes, please let me know if it helps. Thanks.