Emdr for Real Event OCD

Has anyone ever done EMDR for Real Event OCD? I did something to someone years ago that I simply cannot forgive myself for though they have forgiven me. I think about it daily and it was over a year ago. Thanks!

[Moutainclimber20]

I know exactly how that feels! I also have been forgiven by someone for something which I cannot forgive myself . I have tried emdr in the past for something unrelated and it didn't help me, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't help you! I'm sure it would be worth a try, at least so you can talk about your thoughts and get them out there.

[Hidden in reply to Moutainclimber20]

So how do you move on....do you think about it daily?

[Moutainclimber20 in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry to say that idk how to move on. I created an account on this forum this morning just because the issue has gotten so bad. For me though, it's not just the guilt, it's the fear that I did something else bad and forgot about it. You see, when I told the person what I did, their only request was that I be completely honest from there on out. So everyday day for me now invovles me running circles in my mind , making sure I didn't make the same mistake, making sure I didn't forget to tell them about something I may have done. It's a living hell right now. I'm sorry that I could not have been of more help to you on this topic

[Hidden in reply to Moutainclimber20]

I totally get it....I did some real bizarre things during a time of turmoil/trauma and most days I hate myself. I barely make it through each day and get up in the morning looking forward to the relief of sleep....sad...and I once was ‘normal’..,,I am 62.

[Moutainclimber20 in reply to Hidden]

I am so sorry. I am similar but opposite in that i cannot sleep at all. I understand the feeling of hating yourself and have been trying to practice some self-forgiveness but without luck yet. I hope that we are both able to get some healing soon

[Hidden in reply to Moutainclimber20]

How long has this gone on for you? Mine has been almost 2 horrible years....I often wonder how much longer I can go on between the trauma and this....😥

[Moutainclimber20 in reply to Hidden]

It's been 6 months for me, can I ask if you've tried seeking help? Maybe talking to a therapist would be really helpful

[Hidden in reply to Moutainclimber20]

Yes...I am seeing a therapist, am on meds, etc. my life stinks right now. I had it all until trauma surfaced 3 years ago...I had just retired. I am 62. I have it all...husband, money, friends, big house .... but my life sucks. If not for my family and my fear of the unknown and going to hell, I am not sure I would be here. Sorry,,....to much info...

[Moutainclimber20 in reply to Hidden]

Aw I'm so sorry to hear that. I know the feeling. Is it possible that retirement triggered the OCD for you? I don't want to medle but I know some family members who tried retirement and then ended up getting a job because they were so depressed. Or in my case, I get severe ocd every summer because I am no longer at college and do not have that distraction of having to do work and set my mind on something. I don't know what you went through 3 years ago, and I'm sure it is personal so I won't ask, but there is always hope and forgiveness for everyone. Not to bring religion into it, but God forgives those who ask for forgiveness. Even if you and I cannot forgive ourselves, God does. And most of the time, the person or people we hurt do, the hardest part is forgiving yourself. I'm not one to talk because I haven't mastered that yet. But maybe this will help you in some way

[Hidden in reply to Moutainclimber20]

Thanks...retirement hasn’t helped as I am bored. I was a very successful professional....trauma struck right before my son’s wedding. Then due to that I did things that I am not proud of. I know God forgives me realistically what good is that if I/we don’t forgive ourselves? Every day is a struggle....

[Moutainclimber20 in reply to Hidden]

That is true. Our big challenge is going to have to be learn how to forgive ourselves. And I'm sure we can do it , it will just take hard work.

[Thistle303 in reply to Moutainclimber20]

I totally understand!! I have gone through shaming myself. It sounds like you are practicing "mental review" when you try to retrace your steps in your mind which is a compulsion. Another compulsion would be reporting to the person "what you have done*. This is SO HARD. I am SO SORRY you are going through this. Try to resist these compulsions... I can't give you therapeutic advice on how to do this, please reach out to an Exposure Response Prevention OCD specialist. IOCDF.org has therapist listings by location. Offer yourself some compassion. It feels so "wrong" when you feel this way... But just because something feels wrong doesn't mean you can't do it. You got this I believe in you!!!! Thanks fur reminding me to be compassionate to myself today too. I understand. My OCD still LOVES to crucify me.

[Hidden]

Did it work?

[Hidden]

May I ask what the combo was and how you solved the issue.

[Thistle303]

I've been curious about EMDR too for similar reasons....