Scrupulosity OCD. ****Trigger Warning*** - My OCD Community

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Scrupulosity OCD. ****Trigger Warning***

14 Replies

Hi all,

I've learned I have scrupulosity OCD. At one point in time it was where I obsessed about religion. Then it turned into where I obsessed about spirituality and being moral. I'm also learning I have a fear about money and debt....went to the extreme of going into a lot of student loan debt, now going to the extreme of wanting to get out of debt. I notice my OCD can create all or nothing thinking/actions, distort thoughts and create a lot of rules. Geeze owe!! Can anyone else relate to this?

14 Replies
Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021

I can!

On top of it all, these things cause an an extreme amount of anxiety already. And then when you have OCD, it’s somehow worse. For me, being the same way, it seems normal for me. As I am discovering more about my OCD that I was diagnosed with 3 years ago, I never talked into detail about OCD because I was doing EMDR treatment for my PTSD. So, OCD really wasn’t something I have gotten any answers for.

My advice, would to only check in on your student loan things just to make a payment. That’s it. Easier said than done, but. Ya know.

Talk to a therapist about it as well.!💕

in reply toUbud2021

Thank you! You always share something I can take learn from. I like the idea of only checking my student loans when I need to make a payment. Wow! I see just how obsessive I’ve been with figuring out ways to pay it off, by repeatedly making a budget, crunching numbers and coming up with a plan to pay it off.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to

I’m so glad I could be of any help!

Yes! I mean of course we still need to make our monthly budgets due to our circumstances, but, as long as you know how much you can manage to pay for a month at a time, (maybe even just the standard) it may be nice to do just that, and try to free your obsessions and compulsions about this issue. I know it’s all easier said than done, but first we have to try in order to help ourselves. But even with just the standard monthly payment, will it eventually be paid off. Yes, some other factors come in, but, you’re doing all you can. And more. So give yourself more credit 💕

in reply toUbud2021

That's a great idea of creating a plan, sticking to it and then leaving it alone while continuing out the plan. I already sense some relief.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021

Also, now that you mention this topic, I did get very into “Wicca” as well. I’d spend a lot of my time preforming spells and rituals as well. It took over my life. I finally see that now. Hmmm. Interesting!

in reply toUbud2021

I can relate. For me, it’s been reading self-help books and spirituality articles. Then my OCD was wanting to only include people in my life who were really emotionally healthy and had similar beliefs as mine. But I do think we want to keep a distance from toxic people. With anything it’s finding balance, but now I see how my behavior has been compulsive.

in reply to

Ohh and another compulsion for me is getting rid of things.

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to

Yessssss. I go on certain sporadic things like reading multiple self help books at the same time. Of course it stems mostly from wanting to get better. At least in my case. I feel as if I need all the answers, and don’t stop until I’m satisfied. Also, yes, spiritually has been an obsession for me at times, but I believe at least it’s a healthy obsession. Now, I’d like to think that I like to practice spiritually out of love and gaining knowledge for myself. And of course wanting to stay away from toxic people is just a thing. Especially when people are self aware. In situations where people are not self aware, they don’t seem to comprehend things like that. From what I’ve seen. But I’m sorry this behavior has been compulsive for you. It’s never fun noticing compulsive behaviors.

Also, getting rid of things? Wow!! See, I think that’s also on the healthier sides of compulsions!! When I was young till about 22-23, I was hoarding everything. I couldn’t help it. But finally, when I lived in Colorado for a time, I was living the “minimalist lifestyle”. And wow. It was such a nice change of pace! It was always so clean and if at all did happen to get a little messy, it was so fast to clean up. And I was able to think more clearly, stay on task and my anxiety and depression decreased. It was nice. When I moved back here, I started getting rid of a lot of things. Especially the things I had hoarded for so long. It was a very liberating experience. I can easily get rid of things now. Although, it’s not an obsession or a compulsion for me as it is for you. It must be tough to go through.

Although, I do find myself still hoarding clothes!!! For some reason, I cannot let go of all of the clothes I have that don’t fit anymore. I literally have 3 big dressers full of clothes, 2 nice big closets full of clothes, and at least 6-8 totes full of clothes as well. It’s just something I struggle with. But, after living this minimalist lifestyle, I did have the courage to get rid of a lot of my clothing. I still needed support though some of the time. So, my mom had helped me, and was very impressed with how much I let go of. Which helped me see that I was helping myself greatly. And other times, I got rid of clothes all on my own.

We all have personalized struggles with OCD. But for me, it’s nice talking to others who at least understand how OCD affects our brains. Have a beautiful day 💕

in reply toUbud2021

Yes, a healthy compulsion...however, still a compulsion. For me a nice, minimal space feels refreshing and keeps me organized.

in reply toUbud2021

How are you doing Hecate930?

Ubud2021 profile image
Ubud2021 in reply to

I’m not doing so well... I wrote a new post in this OCD community explaining everything. I just feel kind of hopeless right now.

in reply toUbud2021

A I'll go read your post. If there's anything you want to talk about...I am free to listen.

Brasilianguy profile image
Brasilianguy

Hello. As I am brazilian, I don´t write in english so well, but I want share a little a bit about my experience with scrupulosity OCD. When I was teen, my obsession were mainly about religion themes, sins, follow religious strict rules etc. But in the last 3 years, my intrusive thoughts revolve around economical and political issues and I have a lot of racking doubts about a plenty of questions in these areas. I spend a lot of time asking myself If economical program of right parties or of left parties are the better for my country (brazil) among other issues and I feel very guilty because I can´t get definitive conclusions. When I am confortable with a position that I have some sympathy ( I am inclined to left ) soon I remember of someone who criticizes this position and I come back to doubt again. I suffer a lot too with climate catastrophe and I blame myself because I can´t do anything to change this situation definitively and I suffer thinking about a lot of bad things that soon will happen to a lot of people. I blame myself too a lot because I don´t do many thing to prevent global warming, because I still eat meat and mild and other foods derived from animals.

I feel very bad knowing that there are so much suffering in the world and I don´t do almost anything to diminish this situation.

But I am getting better with therapy and medication (Luvox) and mindfulness practices. It´s a daily struggle to face this condition. But there is always hope and knowing better and better the condition helps a lot.

Thanks for sharing! I can relate to this. I’ve gone through something similar where I have to buy mostly organic items, only wanting to shop from certain stores and was not wanting use plastic, to the point where it hurt me financially. I’m learning to find a balance and weigh the pros and cons because I believe each decision or choice we make has pros and cons. It’s finding what works for us and will have a positive effect longer term.

So you are from Brazil? That’s super cool!

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