People pleaser

[Wheeloffortune]

Just curious- does anyone have obsessions about people liking them?? I always feel like I have to make sure everything is ok with everyone and am constantly “checking” either mentally or verbally that all is well. Just realized I think my ocd has morphed into this🤔🤔🙃🙃

[ChristianWolff]

That was my primary method of integrating into groups of fellow employees. Quietly acquiescing to allow others take the alpha positions. It provided space for me to do my own work and achieve success by results. Life has placed lessons in my path where that way of getting along is not the driving force that it was. Age and mileage are likely contributors to the change.

[cambridgeborn]

People pleasing is also a symptom of codependency. Those of us who were affected by someone else’s drinking learned to accommodate the drinker to avoid yet another explosion in the house. I have found Al Anon really helpful in turning around my people pleasing tendencies, though, admittedly, my ocd does often keep me “checking” that I’m not ruffling anyone’s feathers. It can be exhausting and demeaning at times, especially when I try to please unkind or nasty people. I need to practice more ERP - exposure (showing up as an equal in any situation) and response prevention - not trying to overly accommodate others or check that I’m being compliant enough. People pleasing tendencies run deep in those of us who were shamed or punished in childhood for not being good enough.

[Wheeloffortune in reply to cambridgeborn]

Thank you!!