please help me, false/real memory

I'm not sure if I really did, but I remember trying to get a groinal response to a memory of a very disturbing image I saw online that was really terrible about 2-3 years ago when I was 12 or 13. It was a long time ago, but if I did ACTUALLY attempt to have a groinal response, I was trying to get the groinal response from FEAR of getting aroused, not the actual image, and not because I like groinal responses, if I did do it, I was probably trying to prove a point about my groinal response as a compulsion.

I can't even say what it was because it was so bad, it wasn't sexual in any way, just horrible. I feel like a sick person. I don't remember actually trying to get the response, but I remember being afraid that I did at the time, and why would I be afraid that if I did, if I didn't? How would that just come out of nowhere?

also, I've connected this "memory" to my bed since I remember being in my bed when I was afraid that I tried to have a groinal response to this terrible image. So now when I go to my bed, I'll remember it every time, and I hate that so much.

would it be wrong if I did though? If groinal response is not a sexual response, just a fear response, then this wouldn't count as trying to actually be aroused?

I know I'm reassurance seeking, but in these circumstances I truly feel like I need it right now, I just need to know if what I "did" was wrong.

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+ I've only seen one post about something sort of similar to this, they tried to have a groinal response to one of their sexual obsessions and felt very guilty for it. But that's it. So I feel so alone.