Repetitive Ruminations are Destroying Me

[Seafoamwaves00]

Hi All!

I just joined this group and am excited to connect with others who suffer from what I suffer from. I don’t know where to start but I suffer from Major Depression and OCD. My OCD was only recently diagnosed even though I’ve been living with it for almost 30 years. It has really taken over my life. Lately, it’s been manifesting as psychosomatic pain and continual ruminations about the past - dwelling on the past and beating myself up for past traumas. I’ve Also been fixating on the pain in my injured knee is and replaying the injury in my head over and over and over which causes need to go down a dark rabbit hole and ruminate about how I got the injury and how it’s permanent and chronic and how it only impacts me and no one else in such a negative way. I can’t stop ruminating and it creates so much suffering but that’s all I can do. Does anyone experienced this? Do any of you have any advice for me on how to stop doing it?

[Pocketpie]

I think that anyone with OCD is very familiar with the dark hole that you are talking about. We all get into that spiral of obsessive thoughts and then the following guilt for having those thoughts... My number one friend throughout 30 years of suffering from OCD has been distraction. Feel like crap? Oh boy, look at all those dishes that need to get done. Throw myself into the work. Feel that cycle again? I could really use a movie right now. Get involved in watching it... Meditation. Yoga. Running. Dance. Arts and crafts. Writing. Hiking. Riding my motorcycle. Life is full, yet the depression is crushing. Giving myself tasks helps a lot. I'm no therapist. Every time I think I'm doing well I realize that I've just found something new to obsess over. This is a lifelong crippling disorder, but what am I going to do about it, cry and whine? I'm too freaking stubborn to do that. If I'm going to do anything about it, it's going to be something productive. Time to distract myself again, know what I mean?

[Hidden in reply to Pocketpie]

Involve yourself in life even if it hurts to get motivated , that's what I do. Good advice pocketpie.

[Ocdmaybe]

Rumination and OCD are thieves. I have had a habit of saying to myself "well if only did this, or didn't do this I wouldn't feel this way". The fact is that what's in the past does not EXIST. It only exists in our minds, and unfortunately our minds go to those places frequently enough to where we relive the emotions associated with those pains. What has helped for me is the serenity prayer, as well as lots of human interaction to keep my brain busy! I understand the dark place all too well, but above thunderstorm clouds is sunshine and it can't rain forever! It takes work and practice, do not give up! Also, pet therapy is really good too

[Pocketpie in reply to Ocdmaybe]

Thank you so much for saying this

[Hidden in reply to Ocdmaybe]

I like your statement that the past does not exist...so true. I am struggling so bad with past mistakes, guilt, trauma.....your comment makes so much sense.

[Ocdmaybe in reply to Hidden]

Yup! Now I need to remember that myself lol

[Wheeloffortune]

Welcome!! I too have suffered with ocd, anxiety and depression for most of my life. I’ve had good periods and bad. Medication and recently ERP therapy with an ocd trained therapist has helped immensely!! Have you tried erp yet?

[Hidden]

What is erp?

[Hidden]

I think I wrote this post! What meds have helped people?