OCD and ME

[OrchidKoi15]

Hello, I'm new here and I just felt I needed a place to vent my ocd symptoms. I feel so alone with them even though I went through a partial hospitalization treatment for 6 weeks around ocd sufferers. I could not be myself even though I am closer to finding her again and was too embarrassed to share the . The program was a God send to me and I have learned vital skills in dealing with ocd, especially the exposure and response portion, but I still often get stuck and feel alone. While I tell my husband everything I fear he will get tired of my everyday venting and also it validates the thoughts that should mean nothing. Here is one struggle.

As I sit here and type on my computer my eyes follow each letter on the keyboard. One of the things I noticed as a good picture of ocd is that I am too afraid to not look at the keys. This stems from the anxiety of making mistakes. I also find myself panicking to even type anything because I am worried about worrying about looking at the keyboard and the letters.

Same thing happens when counting. I am worried about counting reps when working out but still do it to use as a exposure. I worry I will start counting other things, then I find myself subconsciously doing it. I tell myself its ok that this is happening, I have ocd and I dont have too believe all the thoughts I have and then I dont validate the thought.

I think the hardest part of the disorder is finding good help and helping others understand what you are going through. I find that my ocd grabs other peoples obsessions as well. In group, things I never even thought of that other people said would then become a problem for me. Yes, my ocd is pretty severe but more mentally so. Acceptance is the BIGGEST problem for me. I am finally starting to except that this is my life and it will not just disappear. Once I started to finally except what is a part of me, things get alot easier.

Sorry this is long. I have so much to say but I also dont know how this all works and if anyone will even read it. Thank you for listening/

[Selesnya]

Welcome. It's good that you could join us here. I have found this to be a really helpful place to share some of what is going on with OCD and have people that understand the struggle. Our exact content that we encounter can vary a lot, but the types of struggles that we engage in are so similar. Hearing from others that they struggle with acceptance, the fear of uncertainty, the desire for reassurance, etc. is so helpful as we sort out what of our experience is OCD and what is just life. There are a bunch of us that are toward the beginning of our treatment journey and are still figuring things out, some people that haven't yet made the decision to go into therapy, and others that are showing us that recovery (or at least substantial improvement) is possible.

It sounds really positive that you can talk to your husband about your OCD. I have a really hard time opening up to my wife about my OCD. I'm afraid that she won't understand, that I'll drive her away, that maybe she won't support me, or that she'll be scared of me and my thoughts. It was starting to get so that I was scared of being in the same room with her. If we weren't talking about something already, then I had to leave for fear that I would do something to ruin our relationship. Ok, this is really getting off topic and I'll stop now. Anyway, welcome and hopefully you find this group useful.

[Katz101]

Welcome, I'm doing the same this year, I'm excepting my OCD to the max, and the work load feels overwhelming, but it's worth the fight.

This group is helping me to keep on track.

You are not alone. And for the first time in years! I don't feel alone.

I'm glad you're sharing what's going on with you with us.

[Pratheek]

To come out of this we need someone who give us strength and positive confidence so that our mind is also reacts according our advise and ease feelings I hope by talking sharing the pain u get some peace of mind but remember we are fighting with our thoughts