Hey guys,
I have a funny story/victory I want to share and I also want to know how everyone is doing this week!
So last night I had ERP and my therapist and I decided to step it up. She brought in a butcher knife and had me hold it as she repeated phrases like “stab me” “do it” “hurt me”. I know it sounds intense, and it was at times, but I was mainly trying not to laugh because I was so uncomfortable and tend to laugh when I feel that way. (Never take me to a funeral lol). Anyways, I then had to write a script about me stabbing her while reading it back with the knife sitting next to me. It was hard but I did the therapy and left. I felt safer because I knew other people were in office and that we weren’t alone. As I was driving home I made it about 5 minutes into my commute when I see a police car heading past me towards the direction of my therapists office. I said to myself “are you fucking kidding me?! Of all the times that could happen it’s after we do that kind of ERP?!”. I almost had to laugh at it! I delayed checking my clothes or my body for any type of evidence until I got home and I never googled or texted to check if she was ok. It’s funny how the world works, I feel like that police car was sent my way as an extension of my ERP and I’m proud to announce I passed the test! I’m looking forward to sharing this story with my therapist on Monday, but I won’t text her in the meantime looking for certainty she’s alive and well. OCD is scary and relentless, but so am I and so are all of you (not the scary part, just the relentless part 😝)!
So, how is everyone else doing?? Any good ERP stories or just how you have been doing in general?
Taboo Tuesday- 1/17/23
how to accept thought is just a thought and live with uncertainty?
Fears of loved ones dying *possible trigger warning*
Need some quick advice
