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More To Life
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Not in the 'club'

Difficult time - sister in law about to drop any day.

Her sister is on standby to childmind the other niece. After that the mother in law, and apparently after that, our other sister in law is on standby. Nobody asked me to help despite the fact I probably have the most free time. I get on with my niece really well but am obviously deemed less competent as I couldn't possibly know what to do having not had kids myself!!!

To add insult, if they die they have nominated her sister and our other sister in law to take guardianship as they all have kids. As if me and my husband wouldn't be up to the same standard despite the fact we would be able to give them the highest priority of care.

I know I sound like a right bitch (and I would never ever say this to anyone outside this forum) but it really is hurting me no end. They wouldn't understand a bit, but wouldn't it have been a nice way to show faith in us and recognition that this infertility doesnt make us incompetent.

Just another day Not 'in the parent club'.


2 Replies

I understand how you feel. It's the same in my husband's family. Whenever we have a family gathering, all the mummies sit together and talk about kiddy stuff and I sit by myself at the other side of the table with all the men who talk about cricket.. Sometimes nobody actually exchanges a word with me the whole evening, making me feel totally worthless and invisible.

The thing they don't realise is that now I am pregnant I will refuse to be part of their stupid exclusive clan as I have grown to hate being in their company so much. I am an honest person and as a childless woman I have as much to offer and if someone excludes me on the basis I am childless it tells me that they simply don't deserve my friendship. Their loss!

Just surround yourself with people who like you for who you are and leave the others out, they are simply not worth it if you want to keep your sanity.

Hugs xx


Oh my god that’s to tough! I completely understand where you’re coming from but at the same time I think they’re doing this because they know how crap kids can be and if someone already has kids they already know about that crap. They might also feel it would be too painful for you. If this is correct they should have explained this to you! Hope you’re feeling better about it soon. It just adds to the pile doesn’t it!

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