The first moment I felt ok

Today I went to a festival for children with a friend & her two children. I got out the car & saw a sea of children, babies & pregnant women. Later I was looking around at the stressed out mums & crying kids as well as the happy faces & I realised my life isn't that bad. It's ok not not to have children. I don't know where that came from and I know it's a very very tiny step. But I feel like I had some kind of break through. A pin hole sized break through but it's a break through none the less. Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel after all

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  • That is great news. Looking forward is always best and there are allsorts of other things you can do and options for you. I have found volunteering for Barnardo's has been a great help for me. I get to help with groups of kids and individual kids every week and I get to be part of giving them happy experiences. Doing this is great because I can then go and do other things that I wouldn't be able to do if I had kids. I am still considering fostering, but that is on hold at the moment because I am in the middle of a divorce right now so life isn't exactly stable for me at the moment.

    I also get to the aunt that lets the kids play in the stream with the dog and get all mucky, without getting exasperated about muddy clothes and trainers. :-D

    Mind you I did get a row form my sister for teaching the kids to cheat when we were playing a game of cards. :-D In my defense it was a strategy game called Cheat and the kids loved it. It allow them to spend a rainy morning having fun and not glued to the TV or computers or complaining that they were bored. It was a good day, my niece who was 10 at the time , her 13 year old brother, their other aunt and myself were having so much fun that we spent over 3 hours playing that game. Having fun, getting snacks and generally just teasing each other.

    So yes there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can still have great memories with kids, Be the cool aunt/friend of the family and have fun with the kids. :-D

  • I love this Katie, there absolutely is light and you've seen a glimpse of it. Life can be beautiful, with or without children. 💕

  • Hey! We'll done Kattybetter and you too 20Voices. I do admire you too. It has been 8 years since finishing Ivf and I don't think i would be able to the same. But then the opportunity hasn't come up or i have avoided it. My niece and nephews are older and i will becoming a great aunt in Nov and must admit i am a tad worried. Fortunately we do live a distant away so don't see them to often. But do want to support them in some way. But don't know how I'm going to feel.

    Gives me hope you to can do it. Xx

  • We haven't tried for very long. 2 years. We spent a good 5 years assuming we'd struggle because my husband was ill. So maybe we got a head start. I'm having therapy which I think is helping. Have you tried therapy wendy23? I know everyone is different but I take such comfort in looking after my niece and helping to bring her up.

  • hi katybetter, yes i had fertility counselling during and after Ivf, and she was very good. But haven't had any more since although thought about it recently, if the same counsellor is still there. Like i said i haven't had much to do with babies or children in our family. My brother hasn't had children so my parents aren't grandparents which i think was sad for them.

    Anyway, must be more positive on the plus side of not having children. Tc. Xx

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