CopingMechanisims

[Katybetter]

We've been told our infertility is unexplained. I was wondering what coping mechanisms Other people used? I need to take more control of my feelings about this situation or I'm worried I will spiral.

[wendyWaz]

Hi, I am abit saddened nobody has replied yet. This is my 1st reply so here goes.

I too have unexplained infertility, been through ivf and nothing. That was 7 years ago, I am afraid to say it takes time. You need to find a way to relax, I found writing a angry diary helps, esp if you can't talk to someone. Just let rip on paper, it makes you feel better and you can burn it after, which also helped!

If like me you hold tension in your shoulders, for me it caused me problems, go to an Osteopath. Start project me and repair yourself after all you have been through.

Take yourself out of situations if you need to, or avoid them till you are ready.

take lots of care of yourself xx

[pm27]

I'm not sure if you are considering or able to access treatment or if you've tried this already and it hasn't worked for you. There are other forums for people who are undergoing investigations or treatment, eg Fertility Network.

I found counselling helped me to understand the loss and grief of childlessness after we ceased treatment. It may be that you could access counselling support from your GP or clinic.

Different strategies work for different people so it might be you have to try ideas out to see if they work for you. You can probably get books from the library about cognitive behaviour therapy. Some people use mindfulness, colouring, keeping fit, engaging with hobbies etc.

[slp303]

I went to an NHS Stress and Anxiety workshop group last year and they suggested a lot of the strategies here:

cedar.exeter.ac.uk/media/un...

I found the idea of worry time useful: in the notes app on my phone as i go through IVF (or life generally at bad times) I try to put all my worries down in a list that are taking up my mind and then say 'ok, that's on the list. I will think about it later.' And then distract myself as best I can. Then, the next morning i spend time with my list, looking at my worries and spending a bit of time worrying over them. So many of them i cant change (unexplained infertility being one) and by looking at them in this disconnected way, it sort of helps me see them in a more rational way.

Try reading the pamphlet, it says it in a better way than me But when I feel that I am not sleeping well or I am ruminating too much this is something that keeps me from spiraling out (not all the time, but a woman can try )