Back in the pits again

I've just spent the last hour in a fantasy in which I was distraught and finally comforted by someone - a particular person who is a father figure for me. I wish reality was as helpful as fantasies sometimes are. Now I feel exhausted. I'm going through another episode of breakdown feelings, seem to cry or be close to tears all the time, write to the person which stops me for a while, stop writing and cry again. It never ends. I can still smile, but it's all so draining.

10 Replies

  • I don't really have any helpful words but you're such a kind person, I didn't want to read and run.

    Hope you're ok

    Lucy x

  • Oh Sue. I'm really sorry to hear you've hit this patch, but great to hear to you can still smile. You are such a tower of strength and help to others on this forum. Thoughts are with you. Sue xx

  • Hi Lucy and Sue

    Yes, it's interesting that I said I can still smile, I could at that minute but only because I was writing the blog, inbetween I just sink back into despair. But it is nice to have people's good wishes, so thanks to you both.


  • Hi Sue,

    Im sorry to hear you feel like this, nobody deserves to feel sad or in despair but you have brought me so much comfort I wish I could do something for you. I feel helpless and do not know the correct words to say but you are welcome to talk to me any time about anything. Just wanted you to know.

    Love Zoe xx

  • Hi Sue

    I am very sorry for how you are feeling. You have always come across as a strong person who can handle everything. You are really no different to the rest of us. I have truely enjoyed your valuable input to my problems & helped me a lot. I wish I could do the same for you.

    I will keep you in my prayers & hope you feel better soon.

    Sending you lots of love & healing thoughts.

    Jackie xx

  • Hi

    Thank you both for your kind thoughts and compliments. It's difficult for me to move out of feelings from the past sometimes. I know what they're about, where they come from, but when I feel them I can't pull myself out of them because I didn't learn how to do that, no one did it for me at the time. Therapy helps sometimes, I'm going today so feel a bit better already.

    Thanks again,


  • maybe its time to see your gp, it might be a good indication, the meds need raising, or changing. The only time I feel like that, is certain times on a period, but then I up them 10mg which seems to give me a boost,,, and its over, happy feelings again. Try to do nice things for yourself. while your going through this bad bit. Have you ever thought of using a seasonal effective lamp SAD,, if it helps its a bonus x

  • Hi

    Thanks for the reply. No, it's ok thanks, I am not on meds and don't need meds, I know where the feelings are coming from and am very able to feel pleasure, it's not the heavy depression it's grief based. But thanks anyway. Yes I have a SAD lamp and clock.

    thanks, anyway,


  • Thinking of you sue, this forum is so helpful at those times even if it is just to take your mind off it for a minute, I just ventured to the shops and feel exhausted now.

    Hope you feel ok again soon. X

  • Hi

    Thanks foryour thoughts - yes I agree, I think the most useful thing is that it's a reminder that there are people out there who will care, I find when I'm depressed that I feel alone and don't feel able to phone friends because realistically they can't offer support every time I need it and so I tend to talk about how I feel with them at odd times but use outlets like this for the ongoing support, it's less draining for people who are not so personally involved.

    Well done for getting out to the shops, and I'm sorry it was so exhausting for you.

    Thanks again,


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