So Tired

[JazzyCat730]

New here and just wanted to share in a place where I'm understood.

Most days I go through the motions of working full time, chores, errands, doc appts, grocery shopping, meal preparation, paying bills, rent, on and on. I live alone so it's all on me. I do what I need to but it has been becoming more difficult to even care about these things anymore.....other than my job which I need. I'm tired of the struggle and tired of persevering.

I'm 60 yrs old and not at all where I thought I'd be in life. This has become a heavy weight I walk with daily. I am always online researching for opportunities that may bring me more happiness. For example, I'd love to own my own home but not looking good right now. I decided to just get as much information as I can and think outside the box so I looked into manufactured homes but you can't have a mortgage, have to get a loan and pay cash. I've been rebuilding credit so I doubt I'd get approved. There are so much fine print to everything it's a wonder anyone can accomplish anything. This is just one example. I know nothing is easy and nothing gets fixed overnight but just once I'd like things to go well for me.

I want to write a poetry book and publish it so I am slowly working on this. Perhaps something positive to keep me going....?

Other than this, I live unhappy and tired of being unhappy. I read all those quotes about being happy with what you have, make your own happiness, etc. It's just so easy to say this but I feel there are many different layers to us as humans. Our moods/temperament are not erased by reciting something that looks good on paper.

Thanks for reading.