Missing Gingervitis 💔

[Charmerbluegirl]

I miss my cat so much guys, I'm having sleepless nights and breakdowns [crying]. An sadly no one here understands, they keep saying I can't react like this and that it's time to get over it. I don't know what else to do I feel as if I've failed as a cat owner since I wasn't even there for my baby boy when he passed. I guess I can't get over that fact that he passed on right in front my home and I was unaware. If only I had gone outside a little earlier on I would of been with him before it happened or maybe it wouldn't even of happened. There has to be a reason he came back home cause I've heard many persons tell me animals go away when they have to pass on but yet he came home . An then there's I wasn't home the day before the evening he went missing as well as that said evening too. I'm such a terrible cat mother. I've failed my child, what if he was in pain or hungry and I wasn't there to help him. An now when I sit in the living room there's silenece cause he isn't there to give me love ups or even come into my room to scope it out nor is he here to scratch my slippers. I regret ever running him from doing that, now I'd cherish my slippers and everything he left his marks on. I miss hearing his meows or even hearing him climb up the wall to come inside and when he jumps down. I miss him so much and I don't know how to cope. Why he had to leave me guys, I know he was sick but I loved him so much, I wasn't ready for him to go yet especially when I wasn't with him those last days. I neglected him and he passed on. I feel so hurt and alone. I miss him so much if only I could turn back time I would of came home that Sunday and I would have been with him and then maybe he wouldn't have even went away that Sunday evening and he wouldn't have passed on the Monday evening. Life is so hard.

[Anne789]

Please, please try to stop blaming yourself, I say try because you are in shock & grief right now, looking for ways to turn back the clock, it is PTSD that you are going through & perfectly natural, we animal lovers know exactly where you are coming from. My only advice would be when you get the "horrors" try to replace it with a lovely memory, it's hard & takes time.You were blessed to have your kitty in your life, they are only leant to us for a short time, & I'm sure he never had a better or more concerning mother. Your pain is a measure of how much love you had for each other. Give yourself time to grieve & cry, death from what ever reason is the part of life, trust me those who tell you to get a grip are WRONG, stay away from them until you feel a bit stronger, come to me, us, we understand.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Anne789]

Aww thanks so much but it's just so hard to cope not having him here when every day of my life he was here. It's as if I'm missing apart of me. An that void can't be filled again. His love was different.

[mmmmww]

I can completely understand you, I had similar with my dog.When I moved out of my mum's house I did not take my dog with me, as he was an older dog, I didn't want to upheave him, and we didn't have much space/garden for him. So I did what I thought was best for him and left him with my mum.

I of course saw him every time I visited my mum, but when he died I felt very guilty (and still do, many years on) that I left him there and didn't bring him to live with me.

It is heartbreaking.

Pets become part of the family, losing a pet is like losing a child to many people. And others just don't understand that connection with pets, especially if they have never had pets themselves.

Try not to think of his last moments, think of all the time and years you did spend with him.

Treasure the fond memories and those who don't understand the love of and for a fur baby, well try not to let them get to you.

I will be hard, but it will ease over time. Focus on the good times you had with him. You may not have been there in the last few days, but you were there for all the time before this. He had a loving home and owner, unlike some poor animals who end up as stray and neglected. You gave him love and care.

Maybe get one of his photos and have it etched on a keyring or necklace or something. Then you can keep it with you all times and when you look at it, think of the happy times with him.

On another note, his name is bizarrely cute, I like it 😊.

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to mmmmww]

Aww thanks so much and I do have the idea in mind of make a dog tag with him on it and yess about his name he'll always be in my heart

[AuntBee]

I think he left because he knew he was sick then came back to die near you. You may not have been with him at the moment of his passing but he was where he wanted to be. He wanted to be at home so you could find him, so that you wouldn’t be sad never knowing what had happened to him. I personally think you were a great cat mom He knew he was loved. ❤️

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to AuntBee]

Thanks so much AuntBee means a lot but it still bothers me just knowing the situation may have been prevented if only I had gone outside, maybe he might have felt better seeing me or I could have comforted him and me not spending enough time with him is the whole problem

[Roxylox in reply to AuntBee]

I had been thinking exactly what you said here AuntBee You just put it into words.

[Kelwil1981]

Hope your OK. I understand how your feeling and how nobody understands am sure you was a loving cat mummy and think guilt has alot to do with it maybe u could help at a cat sanctuary talking about your cat while helping others he's always in your heart sorry for your loss xx

[Charmerbluegirl]

Thanks Kelwil1981 for your kind words hoping all is well with you

[Hidden]

Many people have real strong feelings of sadness when they loose any sort of Pet. Death happens to everyone and their pets. Our fist dog Pip was a support animal who was more human than many people. When He died a great deal of sadness was shown not only by family, members of the Day Centre were also very upset.

People need to understand the problem is they wangle their way into the family of their owners and when the pet dies many people and owners suffer strong feelings of grief and sadness,

In various countries these feeling are not as strong because they do not relate to an animal being sentient, with feelings and love to their families. Personally not relating to this and pets feelings could be lacking in their understanding of the dynamics associated with Pet Loss.

All I can say is you seem to have provided your cat with a warm family understanding and in turn you cat has not only shown love also understanding of those around him.

You have had the love of a wonderful pet cat that loved you, this should help you get over your loss. I know in my case Pip has had His ashes lodged in the wardrobe and awaits my Death when His ashes will be places in my coffin.

My idea is when I reach the far side Pip will be waiting for me, where we will play again. Remember we will have that happiness again in just a few years.

at seventy one it will be sooner rather than later. and Pax should be around us once more

Just one thing I sometimes see a movement our of the corner of my eye as the dog sometimes shows itself. Our present dog PAX when having His food will growel like another dog was trying to steal His food. Pip must be around somewhere

Give yourself time your sadness will pass

BOB

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much and sorry to hear about your dog

[Songa in reply to Hidden]

Bob, I love this reply! I too have the ashes of my lost pets awaiting my time. It also gives me great comfort to think they will be waiting to greet me when it’s my time to leave.

[Songa]

I just wrote a big reply on your other post so I’ll keep this one brief…The way you are feeling tells me that you are the exact opposite of a terrible cat mother. You are an excellent mum! Any animal would be lucky to have you. It’s normal and ok to grieve deeply when they leave us.

Please be kind to yourself xx

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Songa]

Thanks so much for the reply Songa I really do appreciate your kind words but I guess I can't shake the feeling of not having him here. Maybe that's a void that may never be filled again. His love ups, him making me extremely happy when I'm down and his constant walking all over me to get my attention. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I just wasn't ready for him to go especially since he had no one there with him. That part alone kills me everytime and that bitter sweet moment of me finding him is being replayed over and over again in my mind then to top it off a week after his mom joins him and leaves me to mourn them both. I find it hard to get through my day cause he was always with me. He was and will always be my child and I just miss him so much. If I could just have been there, maybe I would have had some peace. I miss my Popo Ginge.

[Roxylox]

Try not to blame yourself.I can thoroughky empathise with your grief

My dog is strangely almost a soulmate

The bond is supreme.

Time really dies help with the grief

[Charmerbluegirl in reply to Roxylox]

Thanks so much I miss him so much an tomorrow would make a month since he left me and it's been very hard but thanks so much for your kinds words.