Controversial question about relationships, illness and babys.

[Young_wolf]

Guys dont hate me... iv been struggling with a thought recently and im so scared yous will judge me badly for this queston however i know yous are an understanding bunch of people so here goes.

I have a condition called endometriosis, in short this means my fertility as a young woman is compromised. My surgeon has advised me if i would like a family not to wait until im 30 years old (im 28 this coming new year) because i will struggle to conceive for many reasons. I also have POS as a side note. So basically now is the best chance for me to have a family, my times running out.

Im in a relationship with a man but its not the best we love each other but we fight a lot and i often doubt if hes the right man for me. Hes expressed more than i few times he would love to have children with me but iv been hesitant as i thought it was too soon in our relationship as we had only been together at that point about 6 months. Hes a complicated man with a lot of mental health issues that he doesnt want to address due to a bad up bringing.

So heres my question (deep breath) this man may not be perfect and i do love him very much but he may be the only/last chance i have at starting a family. Would it be so wrong of me to take that chance knowing that the relationship might not be right for me ? I know how this might sound to you guys.... believe me i do but i so want to have a baby i know i would be such a good mum, i would be devastated if i couldnt have my own biological child because i wasted time.

I hope you guys understand why im thinking this way any thoughts on the matter are very much appreciated x

[sweetiepye]

Everyone who marries takes a chance and every one who has a child takes a chance. There are no guaranties in life. If this man makes you happy and you think he'll be a good father why wouldn't you give him a chance ? It's as much as anyone gets.

[EleanorRose]

What matters most is your happiness and the potential happiness of children you may conceive.

Do you think your child would be happy and safe with you and your partner?

Lots of children are born to less than perfect couples, lots of children are born and live in single parent families and lots of children are conceived completely by ‘accident’.

That’s how life is, there will never be a ‘perfect’ time or a ‘perfect’ couple or a ‘perfect’ anything. Is the relationship good enough to raise a child? Do you have other support for you and the child if things don’t work out? They are the things, from my perspective, you need to consider.

[Beautifulrainbow]

Hi there I think only you and your partner know, the answer to that one, if you both feel its the right time to have a child together then try for one. You say he doesn't say much about his childhood, so I would presume it wasn't that great, so who knows having a child together maybe the making of you both. I know a married couple who have basically argued and faught all there married life, but are still together and had children, so good luck.

[Alliea79]

I never had the “heads up” about my Endometriosis. I found out after a year trying to get pregnant (I’d been married for 3 or 4 years and was about your age at that point). I had a lot to think about. Genetically, my husband and I didn’t have super mental health genes to pass on, as with your guy it sounds. So it was anyhow determined that to carry a child I’d likely need IVF. Simultaneously, my husband started a medical work up. Turns out he is that one in a million that doesn’t produce sperm. So two out of two strikes came at us. I won’t gloss over the emotions or subsequent therapy I had, but I can for sure tell you that adoption gave me my daughter. MY daughter. I cannot warn you strongly enough the work, stress, etc that a child would bring to a relationship that is perfect... nevermind one that is not. Adoption is not a death sentence. It is the most incredible thing in my life or dreams. I’m always here to listen, and I feel like I understand your situation in ways words couldn’t express. Xoxo and peace

[Afrohair]

Just so you know I’m 34 with endometriosis I do have children but lost one in September I don’t think it’s wrong to have a baby with him as I understand your situation