Wanting to go back.

[StevenB22]

I don’t know what it is but despite me not being suicidal, I still feel empty. I feel like I have some emotional blockage and everything’s being stored up until something happens. I’m not getting anywhere, I can’t hold down a job and my anxiety gets the better of me. I miss being in the hospital, that was the only time I felt at ease and calm, even though I was hooked up to IV drips, heart monitors and had a catheter in, that was the happiest I’ve been in a while. I wish I was back there and not here.

[Hidden]

Is it being cared for, if so could you not get carer in? And could you claim disabled benefits, if in the UK, such as Personal Independent Payment? Or are you trying to do everything yourself? Hope you feel well enough and make new successes in your life, each step contributing to your happiness? Keep going and trying!

[StevenB22 in reply to Hidden]

I don’t know what it was, I don’t do drugs but being on the medication I was on and just the simplicity was calming. I want to do it myself but sometimes I guess you got to take what you can get. Thank you for the reply. x

[Hidden]

You need to understand why you have Anxiety and how to begin to control it.

To be honest with you you seem to expect things been done for you, you lack responsability for your own condition as you described when you were in hospital.

You need to be able to move on through life and live your life warts and all. Lack of interest in the tasks allotted will not help you, you will become more anxious and possibly lack in confidence. You need to understand why you feel the way you do and address those concerns and move on. It is sad many need to work to live, In the future you will hopefully marry and will need to live to work for your families needs and expectations.

Personally having to go to hospital, having a shunt in my wrist and if put on a ward has no interest for me, in fact I would love to forgo the experience. Sad to say I have two appointments tomorrow on because my eyes are bad, on a six month review and also I have a further appointment to discuss test I have had over the last four months. I was supposed to get results of an MRI, this has not happened so I expect the results tomorrow. I am fearful and I am worried of the further results to be given. I am not like you I dread going in tomorrow, there is now joy or anticipation

Move on in your life make a list of your concerns and explain your concerns again with your GP hopefully there may be various treatment pathways He can guide you down.

BOB

[Hidden]

Doctors and Nurse's are just doing there job. But I know what you mean, sometimes it's nice to feel somebody actually gives a damn about you. From my experience, I work long night shift hours, have a wife with bipolar and three kids who have there own lives and haven't got the time of day to help me with there mother. I suffer from depression (Great mix hay, depression and bipolar under the same roof!!) A few years ago I had septicemia and had to be admitted to hospital for a week. Just to be forced off the treadmill and not be responsible for anyone else was extremely liberating, for a change, someone is asking me how are you today, what would you like for dinner, ARE YOU COMFORTABLE, wow, someone wants to know if I'm comfortable? Then how dare they, a doctor starting asking me personal questions, wanting to know what I did, and a bit of background about me, that's when I lost it, the eyes got tears and and then floods. So I fully empathise with you when you say about being calm in hospital, as far as I'm concerned those people are angels. OK I know there doing there jobs, but wouldn't it be nice if people all around were as caring? 😉