What do you do when you are in that happy but sad place?

[20Voices]

So, at the moment at 4:15 a.m. in the morning UK time I am in that happy, but sad place.

I am happy that I am no longer with a husband who said the vows "in sickness and in health" and left me when I became ill with anxiety and depression, but am do sad that I never was able to have kids. Technically according to the doctors I have had 2 mischarges.

For some reason that I don't understand I am feeling the lose of those babies. One I understand because of the IVF treatment that didn't work and one years I don't because that happened while I was with my husband but before we started IVF.

Can't understand why right now I am grieving for the babies that I lost and I thought I had dealt with that.

I reckon I would have made a good Mum. I feel so sad of feeling jealous of one of my sisters having 2 beautiful teenagers while feeling disappointed that I let my parents down by not giving them more grandchildren and also causing them stress with my anxiety and depression and divorce.

Thought I was coping, so really do t understand this feeling right now.

Just had to get these thoughts out my head before Myrtle my negative voice leader starts up her choir.

Sorry for being negative and thanks for reading.

[Hidden]

We all have regrets in Life and loosing babies can cause people to look back in sadness of what may have been

We never had children because of my health condition and attitudes of my Parents, yes it is sad however in my case my disability could have caused them pain and associated problems with their skin and bones. We have come to terms with this now and follow life path with some remorse, also an understanding what my children may have suffered

All I can suggest is try and come to terms with what may have been and look forward to what your life is now and in the future. Loosing babies does cause unheard upset to Parents and grandparents, life is a learning and we are supposed to move on into a better future.

You will always grieve however you will move on and push forward into the life you seem to have been selected for.

BOB