Virginity lost and in need of morale boost.

[Mimiqt]

Hi all.

In my culture it’s a taboo for us to lose our virginity before marriage. Nonetheless the deed was done when I was with my narcissistic ex-boyfriend. I regret it a lot. Sometimes when I hear people in my community (or even family member) degrading people who lost their virginity before marriage it hurts my damn core. I felt so ashamed, and worthless. It took me three years to get over my boyfriend because i clung to hope that he’d marry me. Once i realised i was too deep into the abusive relationship I finally realised I have to let go.

Yet, this scar is so hard to heal. It is a trauma that contribute to my detrimental mental health. The worst thing is when I doubt my own worthiness and this trauma would plunge me into depression and I can’t tell a soul about it due to shame.

I’m starting over in new relationship and I’m really afraid whether to be honest or not. I’m worried I would be found out after marriage and be left alone again. It took great courage to leave mu abusive relationship, now it gives me greater fear to start over with new person.

[hypercat54]

Hi I assume if your family know you had a bf the chances are they know you aren't a virgin anymore. When they slag off people for not being a virgin it's only women they are talking about which is double standards so try not take it to heart. To anyone who truly loves you this won't be a problem x

[Mimiqt in reply to hypercat54]

My family didn’t know. They knew about my previous relationships but i happened to date gays so nothing actually happened. Love were mostly tragic for me.

[Hidden in reply to Mimiqt]

I understand some countries especially Eastern States, one faith Islam come to the fore as only one of these Societies has still problems with this.

All I can suggest, you cannot hide the result, however could you explain this was either done accidental, once monthly, or you where taking part in exercise when the fracture happened. You know your body, your husband will know that something happened in the past, it is looking for a viable excuse that may help you

Personally I cannot judge this fully all I can say you need to look forward to a stable future. I know in some countries, India and Pakistan comes to mind, your concern these days is becoming more of a problem.

BOB