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[Diddly1981]

Hi everyone, nice to meet you all.

[kenster1]

hi and welcome aboard hope the forum helps in your journey to better times.

[Diddly1981 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you so much. I hope so. Talking helps.

[kenster1 in reply to Diddly1981]

yeah it sure does without talking nothing ever changes.

[Diddly1981 in reply to kenster1]

I haven’t suffered with depression and anxiety for a few years since I was in my early 20’s. I’m now 37. It’s quite bad. I’m taking Amitriptyline and a beta blocker. But I keep having mood dips on Amitriptyline where I have to increase it every few weeks. It’s so frustrating. Just over a week ago I began to have palpitations and feel completely worn out like I’ve got the flu. I don’t know if I need to change the medication or if I need to up it again. Going to the doctors shortly. It’s affecting my work which upsets me.

How are you doing? X

[lorianxiety in reply to Diddly1981]

Hi Diddly,wecome to this forum,hoping to chat to you sometime.Have you got a good Gp….mine is young and appears not ,amytriptilline,is that the only anti depressant you have been on.bye fornow.

[Diddly1981 in reply to lorianxiety]

Thank you so much. How are you doing?

At my surgery you don’t tend to see the same person twice. But on the whole they’re good. I’ve been on a few meds over the years. Paroxatine, fluoxetine, citalipram, diazepam, Sertraline and now Amitriptyline and propanol which are beta blockers. I’d been on Amitriptyline since February with a few increases in dose. Now on 30mg at night. I saw a doctor today and I can now take 10-20mg of propanol 3 times a day for anxiety. I started to have palpitations over a week ago which were tiring me out. I been signed off for a few days. All being well I shall go back to work on Thursday. I enjoy my work. This bout of depression started just after Xmas. My husband was put in prison last year. It has been incredibly difficult with having to go bankrupt on top of that because of the situation I was put in. My children and I live in a little village and feel so cut off as I don’t drive. It can be very very lonely at times. My Mum is my rock, she lives in the next village. I don’t know what I’d do without her. X

[lorianxiety in reply to Diddly1981]

hi,thanks so much for your reply,it was nice to hear from you.Sorry to hear of your problems both financially and feeling isolated,hopefully this forum can alleviate the pressure of everday life.I see you have been on various meds for your depression and anxiety over the years.The first thing is to get yourself feeling better physically by taken an adequate diet...Im glad you can enjoy your work when you are well as that's half the battle.have you been to citizens advice for whatever benefits you are entitled to whilst your husband is away.Im glad you didn't take those amitriptyline;yes ,something that you don't feel drowsy or numb .Last year when my stress levels and health anxiety were at its worse gp offered me citriapan,cant spell it,to replace my 30 yrs dependency on diazepam,no proper communication,I can tell you I was livid at his determination to stop them at all costs and im still weaning myself off -resorted to trying Kalms,quite expensive,it helps ease the anxiety a bit and to have diazepam as a reserve...…..are you wary of the mitrazipine someone on here can possibly help you .feel free to message me anytime.take care.

[Diddly1981 in reply to lorianxiety]

It’s lovely to be able to chat to people on here. I eat really healthily. I totally overhauled my diet 3 years ago. I feel so much better for it. I have got all the benefits I can at the moment. I do take the Amitriptyline. Initially I found that they made me very drowsy the next day but that seems to have subsided a lot. I now take propanol for anxiety and palpitations. It’s not been the easiest of journeys. My biggest fear is not to return to that really dark place where I was in January this year. I’ve got a lot to look forward to I know that. But my energy just keeps burning out. I work 32 hours a week and have very active children. A lot is expected of me. The house and everything to look after. But I’ve got to stop rushing around and burning myself out. I go to bed just after the children go to make sure I get plenty of rest. I know they don’t like to issue diazepam because of their addictive nature. The most I’ve ever been on is 2mg. Bless you hun, it’s really difficult at times. I do understand. I work as a counter assistant in a pharmacy and I love helping people. Hope you’re ok and have had a good day. Please message me if you would like to chat anytime. Take care x

[lorianxiety in reply to Diddly1981]

hi Diddly,glad for your response you seem like a very friendly person and of course im sure you must also miss your pharmacy work as you meet and help lots of customers.Yes,it must be difficult working those hours and a family too ,so as you know its important to rest properly.you seem very sensible and I just hope you can keep yourself together to keep going with all the chores etc.how long have you got left before your return to work.Nowadays ,im not that disciplined inasmuch as I can please myself in how I allocate my daily routine,in fact,i have quite a lot of time on my hands and tend to get lazy when the weathers lousy. Im governed by the weather.and moreso since my stress levels are high------although the anxiety lessened...and being in cold Scotland doesn't help .stress is a killer and im more aware of its existence than me myself if that makes sense,,,,,,lost my wee cat just over 2months now hasn't helped though im coming to terms with it and dreading winter without her,she was a bonnie cat and miss her lots.Well ,hope your days been good ,anytime you want to chat im here to listen,take carex

[kenster1 in reply to Diddly1981]

ive got amitriptyline but never taken then mirtazapine bad enough.right now I feel like ive been steamrollered my whole body is sore and feeling rundown too.i was fine this morning but felt worse as the day went on.as far as im aware lower dose of medication is better so ive been told.hope you pick up soo if not then go back to the doctors.

[Diddly1981 in reply to kenster1]

I don’t find Amitriptyline too bad now. I still get up a tiny bit drowsy the next day but I soon wake up. I take them at 7.30pm and you can guarantee within 2 hours I will be ready for bed. But I accept that is the way things are for now and that this is my journey and I will get better again because I’ve done it before. The propanol which is a beta blocker really helps keep me calm and controls my palpitations. The worst is when I first wake up my heart is racing and I’m all tense then once I’ve take the propanol everything seems quite calm. My body has felt like I’ve got the flu and all my joints have aches quite badly. Some days it’s better than others. Some paracetamol may help you that’s what I take when I ache like that. Thank you hun. Hope you’ve had a good day. X

[Suzie40]

Hi Diddly, it's good to meet you! Look forward to chatting to you on here!

[Diddly1981 in reply to Suzie40]

Thank you so much Suzie. It’s a difficult time at the moment. Medication may not be working like it was. Now on beta blockers for palpitations. I really want to feel like my old self again. I’ve been signed off work for depression for a few days, it upsets me. I love my work. How are you, hope you’re ok. X

[Suzie40 in reply to Diddly1981]

I'm ok thanks. I hope your time off helps. I had 5 weeks off last year due to depression; it helped a lot. What meds are you on? I take fluoxetine, aripiprozole and tibolone x

[Diddly1981 in reply to Suzie40]

I hope so too hun. I had a break down at the end of January and had 6 weeks off work. I felt better when I went back. Now I’m feeling a big dip again. I’m on Amitriptyline with a few increases in dose, now up to 30 mg at night. Started on propranolol yesterday. My energy has depleted over the last week and I feel achy. I’ve been having palpitations every day for the last week and I feel exhausted with it. I’ve got to go for a medication review this week. I’m so disappointed in myself. I just want to work and feel ok. I took fluoxetine a few years ago. I’ve not heard of the other 2 you are on. How are you on your meds? X

[Suzie40 in reply to Diddly1981]

Aripiprozole is a mood stabiliser and Tibolone is HRT. I had a hysterectomy 6 months ago when I was just 39 and it sent me into early menopause. I'm not too bad on my meds - I stopped taking them a couple of months ago and my mood crashed. Compliance with my meds is a but problem for me x

[Diddly1981 in reply to Suzie40]

Oh bless you hun. I have endometriosis. I may have to have that done in a few years.

I feel really gutted that I keep having dips in mood where I feel the need to up it. I don’t think I’m tolerating it well at the moment. See what the doctor says tomorrow. I’ve become really anxious and panicky. I was fine until my husband went to prison in July of last year. Then it all went wrong after Xmas. I do get help from the well being service as well. They’re fantastic.

[Suzie40 in reply to Diddly1981]

I had endometriosis too, but they didn’t diagnose it until after my hysterectomy! Sorry to hear your without your hubby for a while, that must be really tough x

[Diddly1981 in reply to Suzie40]

Morning Suzie. I found out a few years ago that I had endometriosis when I was having fertility investigations. It has been very tough without my husband. We never got to celebrate our first wedding anniversary together. I’ve chosen to stay with him. It’s so difficult. I’ve felt like I’m in limbo while he’s been away. The children have found it difficult. This depression is the worst I have ever experienced. So much is expected of me as an adult and I just feel worn out and drained by it all. X