OCD??

[SILVER4869]

Hello, I'm new here...

I'm in need of an advice.

Just a few days ago, I remembered an incident when I had a thought of doing something wrong, it was like 6 years ago. Back then, I was about to do it but then I stopped and didn't do it. It never bothered me till now. But when I thought about this incident just a few days ago I started getting a feeling that what if I didn't really stop then and actually did it. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and started doubting myself. I kept replaying the whole incident in my mind so that I can convince myself that I did stop but it just made it worse. Now I'm very confused and I'm feeling guilty even though I'm consciously aware that I didn't do it. I really don't remember doing anything but I have a fear that what if I have done it but then forgot about it. I don't know what to do...

[hypercat54]

What would have happened if you had done it? Or what do you think would have happened? x

[SILVER4869 in reply to hypercat54]

I would have definitely regretted it. Its not that I was going to harm someone in anyway. Just that it was against my morals and I think was glad that I didn't do it. But now I'm not sure If i did it or not.

[hypercat54 in reply to SILVER4869]

Does it matter? You have allowed this thought to become an obsession and take over your life. The more you obsess over something the more you will if you see what I mean. Every time you start going down this path wrench your thoughts away and either think or something else or do something. This is very hard at first but continue doing it and it does get easier. As you think less about it then the less you will think about it.

Maybe you are having a crisis of confidence in your life or an identity crisis? If so try and figure out what is causing it and what you can do about it. This could very well be a symptom of it. x

[SILVER4869 in reply to hypercat54]

I agree. I do have low self Confidence but I have no idea why. And I have this problem of over thinking. Whenever I have a conversation with anyone, I keep over thinking and analyzing it in my mind to check if I said something wrong. I just can't enjoy any conversation that I have cuz of this. I don't know how to stop having these negative thoughts and be more confident.

[hypercat54 in reply to SILVER4869]

To me this is an indicator that you had problems perhaps in your childhood that you have buried? Might this be the case? If so they don't remain buried forever and start to 'leak' round the edges. Maybe this is behind your lack of self confidence and over thinking? There are usually reasons behind our behaviour so what you have to do is find and try and sort them. Maybe a counsellor could help you?

Mindfulness should definitely help though so google it. This is all about living in the present and should help to keep your mind off the past so much. x

[SILVER4869 in reply to hypercat54]

What u r saying could be true. But i don't remember anything from my childhood that could have led to this.

Ok, I'll try that. Hopefully I'll get over this. And Thanks a lot for helping me.

[hypercat54 in reply to SILVER4869]

It might not be that but other things. Maybe you have had a very traumatic experience in adulthood and haven't fully dealt with it? Not everything can be traced back to childhood though in my experience most are.

I hope you find some answers. x

[Satsuma]

It is stealing you of valuable time ruminating over the past .. Whatever did or didn't happen you cannot change it but you can change your thoughts about it starting now .. Time is too valuable to waste

[SILVER4869 in reply to Satsuma]

That is true. I know that I'm just wasting my time by over thinking about it. But even when I try to divert my mind, I feel very uneasy. I don't want to think about it but I don't know how to stop myself from doing that.

[Satsuma in reply to SILVER4869]

I understand you .. You mention low confidence so rebuilding it by the use of positive affirmations is a good way to start .. They are helpful to re-program our thought patterns and change they way we think and feel about things and ourselves .. They help us to focus on goals and get rid of negative beliefs and program our subconscious mind .. For example one could be ; I choose inner peace over internal conflict .. Having a goal to work towards also helps .. You won't have time to think of anything else but your goal

[SILVER4869 in reply to Satsuma]

I will definitely try that. I hope that I get over this. And thank you so much for helping me out.

[Satsuma in reply to SILVER4869]

You are welcome .. You will get over this but only if you remain steadfast and consistent in your commitment to change

[Hidden]

At sometime in our lives we can have dubious thoughts, the problem is we need to learn and move on.

They say let the past look after itself and the future has not been born yet. Live for the day.

You have diverted away from from the negative thoughts you had when younger. Live for now. Not the past

BOB