Thought id come back to this app and write an update. My little girl is 6 weeks tomorrow. It’s gone quick. She’s mainly content but has had a few crying times that keep me awake but nothing abnormal. Fortunately I fell in love with her easily, I had moments of “please stay asleep” through those exhausted moments but again, I think that’s normal.
Reason for update is because I had a review with my psychologist yesterday and I’m feeling so stupid after it. She is really lovely and when i returned for review I openly spoke about how my ocd and ptsd symptoms had really increased, that I was keen to work on them especially the ocd because when I could be sleeping, I’m acting out those compulsions so adds to exhaustion. I’m never normally open about ocd and hide it in shame so I was proud of self for disclosing.
At the end of the review she asked if I was still visiting America to see other half in September once we married and i said that was the plan. She said she didn’t have any regular slots until September. I did cry. Everytime I get close to dealing with symptoms, something gets pushed out of my reach. She said she wouldn’t want to open up anything with limited time even if she did have slots now incase i go to america in September. She felt bad that I thought our apt’s would continue and she said other things but i started to shut down. She is going to talk to psychology team and call me next week about possible solution.
She seems like she actually cares but she may not be able to help due to constraints she has. I just feel guilty for shutting down so much and being upset. I had to share on here because i didn’t know what to do. Thank you if you read all this lol xx