Thought id come back to this app and write an update. My little girl is 6 weeks tomorrow. It’s gone quick. She’s mainly content but has had a few crying times that keep me awake but nothing abnormal. Fortunately I fell in love with her easily, I had moments of “please stay asleep” through those exhausted moments but again, I think that’s normal.
Reason for update is because I had a review with my psychologist yesterday and I’m feeling so stupid after it. She is really lovely and when i returned for review I openly spoke about how my ocd and ptsd symptoms had really increased, that I was keen to work on them especially the ocd because when I could be sleeping, I’m acting out those compulsions so adds to exhaustion. I’m never normally open about ocd and hide it in shame so I was proud of self for disclosing.
At the end of the review she asked if I was still visiting America to see other half in September once we married and i said that was the plan. She said she didn’t have any regular slots until September. I did cry. Everytime I get close to dealing with symptoms, something gets pushed out of my reach. She said she wouldn’t want to open up anything with limited time even if she did have slots now incase i go to america in September. She felt bad that I thought our apt’s would continue and she said other things but i started to shut down. She is going to talk to psychology team and call me next week about possible solution.
She seems like she actually cares but she may not be able to help due to constraints she has. I just feel guilty for shutting down so much and being upset. I had to share on here because i didn’t know what to do. Thank you if you read all this lol xx
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Starlight_ftm
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It is so difficult as they have such a burden of work, I waited 31 weeks for my CBT, and like you am just starting to get somewhere when the allotted sessions are due to end, and I can carry on, on line!!! I think it would be good for you to write you feelings down, as sometimes I get so overwhelmed I can’t speak . Congratulations on the baby, you lucky girl, what’s the America thing, is your partner abroad? Don’t feel I have helped, always here xx
I just want you to know that I’m here and I’ve read your message and you aren’t alone, please don’t feel alone in any of this or anything you’re experiencing in life. You’re much stronger than you think.
Just here to reassure you that everything with the psychology team will be fine. They will arrange something with you to discuss your OCD and you won’t be left feeling vulnerable and your problems will be solved, I promise. Believe in things being okay and good and amazing for yourself! They really will.
Believe in your own goodness and inner light, believe in your ability to overcome what’s on your mind. I promise you I believe in you and everything will be okay. I’m sure you are an amazing mother and your baby girl is very lucky to have you!
I hope my words can give you some positivity and light in this time. ❤️
Starlight
In the UK CBT can be regulated to ten or twelve sessions. At this time you are considering going out to the States in September, given that you will need to arrange a treatment pathway out there if the move is going to be for good.
It would seem you are coming to the end of your treatments and your CPN sounds like She is beginning to close down on your treatments, She must feel you have done well and it is a good time for you to move on to a more fulfilling life in America.
It may be your next appointment will be your last, however has various coping techniques been explained to you.
With Mental Health it is always hoped you will address your concerns and fly away to a new positive life. It sounds like you are starting again and your wings will fly in September to your new world
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thanks for reply. It’s more they don’t want to open a can of worms and not have time to close it x 
Very tearful had enough
Health anxiety on fluoxetine 20mg 
Trying to start over *trigger warning*
Shaky, lightheaded, dizzy
