So insecure

[Kittykatxxxxx]

I don’t really know why I’m posting. I suffer with anxiety and depression . I’ve always felt insecure with the way I look / who I am. I was in a relationship with someone at work, who effectively emotionally abused me .

I’m single and no one is interested in me , I try to get out and also tried online dating .

There’s pretty girls at work my ex flirts with , I just have to watch .

I never seem to fit in. I’m late 20s and I feel time is running out for me . Just feeling so bad at the moment . Was in tears at work .

[everyrose]

Hi Kitttykat,

I am a similar age to you and know so many lovely, beautiful young women who can't seem to meet anyone - it is tough, but whether you get attention from men or not really isn't a reflection on you as a person. How did you find online dating? Some of my friends have found it less pressurised to try and give it a miss and look for different opportunities to meet new people e.g. through hobbies like art classes.

It sounds like the relationship at work was pretty rough and it's difficult seeing him around now. How long has it been since it ended? Have you been able to get any space?

You mentioned that you suffer with anxiety and depression. Are you getting any support at the moment? Is there anything that has helped you in the past.

[Kittykatxxxxx in reply to everyrose]

Hey . Thanks for your reply . My ex has 4 weeks off ,well 2 now . Dreading him coming back . I found online dating upsetting as have been let down quite a bit ( not actually meeting up etc ).

I’m not getting any support at the moment . I’m thinking of getting counselling . X

[Hidden in reply to Kittykatxxxxx]

Online dating can be soul destroying 😞

Was trying to think of nice places to meet people

Although it’s difficult, as I don’t know what you like and what you would go out and do in that respect. Meet up groups may be better , just called meet up on line...although for some I guess attending could be daunting.

They do have them for people with anxiety in a lot of areas too.

🌺🌼🌺🌼

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for how you feel kittykat.

You have lots of time, I bet you get sick of people saying that 😩 it’s true though , also it’s no consolation when you feel how you feel.

I’m sending some lovely vibes your way, and truly hope you feel better soon!

Gentle hugs 🌺🌼🌺🌼 xx

[Kittykatxxxxx in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your message xx

[Hidden in reply to Kittykatxxxxx]

Wish I could be more helpful..x

[20Voices]

Hi,

I think I know why you posted and that is because sometimes we just need someone else to tells us what we already know or are starting to think.

Firstly forget the ex, he is not worth it and you are so much better off without him.

Secondly it is okay not to be in a relationship and you don't always have to be looking of the next partner. Be safe with the online dating, so many scamsters out there so be careful and safe. Why not find a hobby or sport or even volunteering opportunity? You don't have to be out in short skirts and killer heels to meet guys. I've been chatted up more on an archery field when I was looking a right mess because of wind and rain and in comfortable sweatshirts, toursers and muddy walk shoes than I been chatted up in a pub/nightclub.

Do some self development workshops to help with the anxiety and depression and your self image. We always see the worst in ourselves and we are not good at giving ourselves compliments.

You do fit in it is just that you are shy and that is not a bad thing.

Best thing you can do is learn to love you and find out what you are good at. Get along to taster sessions at you local sports centre or college. Set yourself some challenges and don't fret about relationships, be yourself and be happy then the meeting someone will happen.

As for the ex next time you see him, stand tall and remind yourself you are lucky to be rid of him and you are much better without him. (Also there is a sing called "I am going to haunt you" by Sharleen Spiteri which has some really great lyrics in it for breakup vengeance. Mind you I am Scottish and so get Sharleen's sense of humour in that song. 😊)

Take care. Xxx