I can't talk

[Alya96]

Do u know that feeling when u faced a lot, and that was for just few days but u r just tired to tell anyone or to express ur stress .. I just tired and had enough ... I don't want anymore to tell my family or my friends of what's making down or upset ..

But all this reflects to my face were I can't smile or I would like to be a part of a conversation with family .. my mother always get mad because of my new habit, of not telling anything bothering me to her .. well mom u r one of the main reason of all this mess in me so I can't express any feelings because I feel all of them stupid ..

If u asked me what my mother did .. well in short, she didn't see my emotions something important, when I needed her the most to support me she threw my pain and my broken heart away .. yes I strong now .. but my feelings aren't they important to me ??

[Oldnconfused]

Hey Alya..I wish I had some words of wisdom for you to help you along. I do have a "thank you" to give though. You shared some kind words and that's appreciated. Your feelings are very much important not only to you but to those who love you. I hope your able to make that connection with your mom again.

[Alya96 in reply to Oldnconfused]

Hehe your welcome, but u r strong man.. and thank u for saying that my feelings r important, I feel much better to here those words .. well I don't want to make any connection with my mother again because I got tired from all my attempts to make her understand my feelings .. it's fine I guess

[Midnightwolf1]

Of course your feelings are important. I know what your talking about I do the same thing to my family and friends and my friend get so upset with me about which makes me feel worse and they don't see it. I honestly don't think my family really care how I feel, as long as I'm ok I think they are fine, but I know dad gives me my space till I'm ready to talk to him which I never do. When anyone ask me if I'm ok or what's wrong, I always brush it off and it it's stupid knowing in reality its not. But I hop everything get better for you!

~Sky

[Alya96 in reply to Midnightwolf1]

Oh my God, it's the same thing here .. they always get mad and make me feel more terrible .. like I am the one who's feeling bad and u can't respect that ?? And u will make feel bad and the bad person right here ?? They always make me feel like this .. they want u just to be good, otherwise everything u feel it's not important .. well I am sticking with reality where my brother, sister and my mother will not give that support ..

However, thanks for ur kind words, the thing is I just don't want to express my feelings to my family anymore.. I hope I will have that special one in my life and help me that's what I believe .. is it stupid ? Nah it's fine heheh

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Alya96]

Yeah, I know. I wish they could understand that you already feel bad enough and that you just don't want to talk about it. I mean they don't tell you everything so you don't have to tell them everything! I know, Its hard to express your feelings. I gave up on telling people them and when they see something wrong I usually tell them I'm tried. And it's not stupid to believe that you will have the special one in your life to help. I think that all the time too.

[Alya96 in reply to Midnightwolf1]

Yeah I wish so .. but I already give up .. but It's okay, I guess .. anyway thanks and it's good to see someone understand me <3

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to Alya96]

Anytime. I know its good to at least know someone understands

[hypercat54]

Hi I totally get where you are coming from as my mother was the same. I spent my childhood being told I was horrible and I had to deal with all my pain myself. My emotions were never validated so I pushed them away and tried to ignore them.

The thing is though this doesn't work as I found out. A couple of years ago I was googling and came across Childhood Emotional Neglect and it fit me like a glove and a lot of things started making sense. I wish I had found it many years ago as my life would have been very different. x

[Alya96]

I know .. it's really difficult to deal with all these emotions .. I do the same, when I realized that my mother will not understand how it's difficult for me .. I started to ignore and kill all these emotions and convince myself that everything I feel is stupid .. but hey at least someone understand me thanks sweetheart