So today, i was in my uncle's house ans i was talking with my aunt about my mother and stuff.
My aunt is like my 2nd mother, she is always there for me and i know she loves me like her child.
So, i told her about my depression and all, and she told me "Why haven't you talk with me before? You are afraid?" And i said that yes i am. and she says "You know, i will ot go to tell this to your mum, i know what you're feelind, i have lost my mother and i can't sleep since this day (like 1 or 2 years ago) the worst is that even when she was diying, she doesn't wanted me.. And since then, i'm alway blaming myself.. I understand you. And for your mother, i know, this is not fair for you. (...)"
Anyway, i told her everything (about the death of my friend Jonathan, about my depression but not about my suicidal thoughts)
And she told me this, i will never forget that "If you need to talk, anyday at any time, i'll be there for you. I love you for who you are, not for what they want you to be."
This words touch me so much.. I was really glad at this moment, but i was wishing so hard that it was my mother telling me this.. But yeah..
I think, i have to stop with that. I have to stop thinking about "who getting my mother back" because i will never bring her to me. I know that. It hurts a lot but, i have to keep my head up and to be strong, to keep being strong without her and without her love. And for my father this is the same.
So, i'm living with them, i love them, i talk and laugh (a little bit) with them, i call them "mom" and "dad", but thats all.
If they doesn't show me their affection, it will be the same as now.
But i'm happy to had a really good talk with my aunt, and i'm happy to know that she always be there for me, even if i cant told her everything about my problems and about my life..
Anyway, sorry for this long and maybe boring post but i needed to tell you this! You're like an other part of my family now!
So, be safe sweeties. Love ya all !
-The little one xx
Written by
another-girl
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This is the best news! I'm so, so glad you spoke to your auntie. She sounds like the most loving and caring person, and I think you should keep regular contact with her and not hold back with what you are telling her. You may not want to hurt her (as she herself is struggling) but she sounds like she would definitely put things into place for you.
Your parents love you. It is impossible for a mother or a father not to love their children. But who knows what problems they carry in their own hearts which is currently preventing them from being there for you. It's a bit like with my husband who is simply unable to cope with me at the moment. Stick with your auntie, call her once a day for 10 minutes, just to chat a bit.
Also my dear, did the helpline (sorry I forgot their name now) reply to your email? If not, did you call them?
This is really lovely to hear ma petite. It is good you have your aunt to talk to; a shame about your parents not really being there for you but you have someone who cares and who listens to you.
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