Hi, I’m new to this so not really sure how this all works. I’m 21 and 5 months ago I suddenly lost my mother without any warning. It was the first time I had lost someone and the way it happened has dragged me down a dark path and I’m not to sure how to keep my head above the water sometimes.
After my mum passed away they doctor diagnosed me with depression and my counsellor thinks I might be suffering with PTSD which I didn’t know that you could get it from something like this. I have now finished seeing my counsellor but I struggle talking to family/friends with how I am coping so I thought I would give this a shot. I’m not really sure what else to say just yet but I will leave it at this for now until maybe I get more comfortable to doing this.
N x
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Nivea9495
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Hi I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mum and to happen suddenly like this is an awful shock. It is only 5 months though so be patient with yourself. I lost my mum 5 years ago now but it was expected so not such a shock.
Now my sister had a beautiful dog - a black lab/collie cross and for 7 years I took her out every day and she was the first dog I ever really knew well. I loved the bones of her and she me. Last year at the age of 7 and a half she just dropped dead. Just like that with no warning and she hadn't even been ill. My sister and I were devastated and were in shock and in some ways we still are. We blamed ourselves for not knowing something was wrong and still feel guilty. This happened 14 months ago and we still feel bad.
Now I am not for one moment comparing your mum to our dog but I told you this as I do have some idea of the shock and guilt you may be feeling. You are still in shock and quite naturally so.
The best thing is just to go about your normal business as much as you can as the more distance and living you put between your mums passing and your present the more you will start to recover your normal zest for life. Your mum will always be with you and have a special place in your heart. I believe our loved one stay with us and one day when it's our turn we meet again.
Another thing I think is happening with you is that for the first time you have come face to face with death and your own mortality. We all have to come to terms with this at some point in our lives but you are very young to face this and it's not easy is it.
You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the best. x
Lost my mother at 15, but no matter what age you are, it’s quite a blow. I’m kind of always looking for mother figures. She guides me still and always sends me hope and you’ll find these signs as you go on in your life. She is with you. The term “motherless daughters” is sad but it’s what we are and there is a sisterhood we belong to. This could very well be the worst thing you’ve faced, and the worst thing you will experience in your life in terms of loss. Give it that weight because it is a monumental loss. Take your time and get through the days one at a time. Find support as you have here. Cry a LOT. Let it out. Talk about her. Talk about what you’re going through. I know it’s hard, but a support group in person would be very good medicine for your broken heart. It will get easier but not for a while. Through this loss and this intense pain, you will always relate to others going through similar grief. It’s a heck of a lesson. Mine has been gone 27 years now, unbelievable. But she’s always been with me!! She’s with me every day. Remember: Her love shines on you forever. Her love beats in your heart. She is everywhere and nowhere. Please keep talking and sharing your memories of her. Don’t ever push them away because they are so precious!!
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