Lost torn apart

[nhouse]

I don't know how to climb out of this hole of sorrow misery and grief I feel lost at times and strong and confident the next I'm poisoning the lives of the man I love so desperately and the children I should go away they shouldn't have to see this to experience me at my lowest I'm in physical pain and torn open wounds of the past on my soul and heart they haunt me destroying the present and consuming me I just want to disappear they'd all be better off the way he is behaving everyone is better off without me I once told him if I disappeared no one would notice and he told me we would notice your family we need you now months have gone by and he found comfort without me and I watched him disappear I don't need him to feel complete its opening doors I shut and now I'm reliving the worst parts of me my tortured soul kindness isn't something that has happened to me maybe I'm kind and over helpful to help encourage what I've not never really expierenced.

[sweetiepye]

Wow, you're not only living in the past you're embellishing it. There's a lot of drama there. It's a little difficult to understand what's going. You're in depression, physical pain ?, you don't want your family to see you like this, tour man cheated and left. Have I got the gest of it? First of all, you won't get better by living in the past Try to focus on the present. Very hard I know. There is nothing wrong with your children seeing the reality of your life. They will see a strong woman over coming adversity. A good life lesson. I am sorry people haven't been kind to you ..but being kind is rewarding and I hope you continue it. The man who walked, I have nothing kind to say about him. You probably haven't lost as much as you think you have. Keep striving to go forward and don't look back. I hope I haven't offended you, I just trying to focus on the hard parts. Have you ever considered writing ? Seriously you should. Pam