Help

[Tech40]

Can somebody who has suffered mental health and depression over the years please inbox me, really need some help here

[welly10]

Hi tech 40 hope you are well today I had depression 3 years ago I was on tablets until I decided I was better it took a while I'm on tablets for anxiety now but I'm in a better place through reading and learning to manage my mental health.i think once you have a breakdown it makes you more aware of how we as people are sensative to various situations but how we manage these helps us to understand more about the mental health we have.

[MsTree]

Are you still with us? Please know there are complete strangers like me who care about you.

[Teddy-girl]

Hi Tech40, I was diagnosed with clinical depression around 15 years ago. I ended up not being able to sleep (just one or two hours a night) for over a period of two years and in a constant state of feeling as though I was 'free-falling.' I began to fear living more than I feared death. The sheer physicality of this illness totally drained me. I never thought I'd get over it, after all -it was me at the end of the day and this was how I was (you lose insight to not being aware that it's an illness and not you, by the way). I tried to carry on with my life/ work etc, thinking it was just a blip until I completely broke down and ended up having to take time off work. Under my doctor's supervision, I tried different anti-depressants. It took me a while to find one that would work with my body- what works for some people won't work for others and it's a case of trial and error. When the medication began to work, I realised that it was depression and NOT me, if that makes any sense. When I came off medication, I lapsed back into depression- this happened twice. I'm on them for the rest of my life but it's better than the alternative of not taking them. My advice to anyone going through this would be the following: Change doctors if you feel your GP doesn't take you seriously; Find someone you can talk to; Allow yourself time to try different medications/therapies. I know how horrible it is; how wretched you must be feeling and my heart goes out to you. I thought I would never get through it at the time- the sense of hopelessness gnaws at you...but with the right support, you will.

[Tech40 in reply to Teddy-girl]

Hi I absolutely hate living like this, I spent 7 hrs in a&e on Sunday night as I was so close, the closest in a long time to ending things, the police who took me to a&e stayed with me all night till the crisis team eventually showed up.

My relationship has recently died through things I'm not proud of, either depression related or what I'm the first person in my family to be diagnosed with depression and it is completely draining me this time, I'm seriously low, the only thing that actually lifts me is being with the ex and kids.

I'm going thru CBT at the minute and not sure what other therapies are out there.

[Teddy-girl in reply to Tech40]

Hi Tech40, CBT works for some people and not for others or may work better a little further down the road towards your recovery. There's also different counselling techniques/ counselling orientations used which will be used by the counsellor and sometimes you'll find that some counsellors are more suited to you than others. Never feel afraid to ask to change counsellor if after a while the relationship doesn't feel it's working for you. Meditation/mindfulness is also effective but again, you may need to check with doctor first. Sometimes to try these techniques too early might be counterproductive hence to always seek advice first and perhaps what didn't work at the beginning may be more effective further along the road. There's a brilliant app called 'Headspace' which taught me how to practice mindfulness in 10 easy lessons (that were also free). I find 'mindfulness' a useful tool to fall back on at various times. There is no formula to getting better. Much of the time it's trial and error and trying different things and even trying these different things again at a different time. Some of the time you'll feel like your going backwards, sometimes you'll think you're just treading water and the odd day, you'll feel like you moved a step forwards and then the next day, three steps back down a ravine. Eventually, the steps forward will start to outweigh all the other kinds. This is why you can't be too hard on yourself and you need to allow yourself time. I found keeping a basic diary helped...I'd mark on a scale of 1 to 10 how I was feeling during the day to look for patterns/to see what may have influenced the numbers increasing/decreasing, however marginal and if there was something I was doing or not doing I could repeat it again. Oddly just by getting to the evening used to marginally increase the numbers which is also classic with depression in that you feel at your most worst during the beginning of the day. If you're setting any goals, make sure they are very, very, very small goals. It is literally one step at a time, even hour by hour. You mentioned about relationships...I found it really hard maintaining a relationship with my partner. He used to think that my behaviour/feelings were becáuse of him. This illness created so much dysfunction (not that I realised it at the time and thought it was all my fault). Also people just assume depression is feeling sad/low but rage, anger, panic, anxiety are it's accomplices and I was ashamed with my behaviour too. The guilt I felt was overwhelming at times....(Oh, by the way- Excessive guilt was also a nasty side effect of this terrible, terrible illness as well as a total loss of insight and perspective). Please don't be too hard on yourself. Please inbox me or speak to others on the forum.