Newbie here...

[neurochic]

Does feeling irritable all the time with the people around you, frustrated, moody, and lack of interest to socialize means I’m clinically depressed? I’ve never seen a psychiatrist in my life so I can’t tell for sure. I also have recurring thoughts of death but not suicidal, I guess.

Also, I’m a person with disability (not since birth) so I get frustrated a lot ever since I became a PWD.. and I don’t know how to completely cope. I’d usually pretend that I’m okay with my family and friends but deep inside I’m not. I just don’t want them to worry that I’ve been struggling and get very sad and frustrated most of the time. I’m somehow glad to found this space that I can let my thoughts and feelings out without my family or friends knowing.

I’d appreciate any help and support from anyone here..

[hypercat54]

It can be a sign of depression then again not necessarily. Depression is very common in people with chronic conditions, but no one one here is a medical professional and even if there were you couldn't be diagnosed over the internet. Your best bet rather than guessing is to see your doctor for a proper examination and diagnosis. x

[neurochic in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you, hypercat. Hopefully, I’ll get to see a doctor for help soon.

[ladeda]

Hi sweets, maybe there is nothing wrong with feeling and irritable or Moody in certain company and it could just be that at this moment in time they don't happen to be the company you need? But sometimes don't underestimate how helpful and supportive family and friends can be, don't be afraid to be honest and discuss your feelings, your more likely to find we all can have very strange thoughts that can be very scary sometimes purely because we think there wrong to have. I understand you don't want them to worry about you, but maybe it's time for you to think more of your wellbeing than how someone else may or may not react, and yes if it's too difficult to open up to them, look around for what support groups maybe close to you, the www is good but talking face to face with someone understanding especially if trained as a councillor can really be invaluable in finding the type of things that you find the most helpful, as there's no one size fits all when we are trying to find what path we personally want to take in life.

What makes us all so amazing is our emotions, we have so many! sometimes they can run a bit rampant and we can suddenly loose direction of what we want. It's just a glitch and with a little help you can feel more in control and dare I say it, happier? Hang on in there and don't feel alone. X

[neurochic in reply to ladeda]

Thank you, Ladeda. This is very insightful. You’re right, I do feel scared feeling all this strange and sometimes morbid thoughts thinking that it’s wrong to have them in the first place. I am also afraid they will judge me to have these thoughts as they always think of me as someone who is strong. I just want to be sincerely happy around them but somehow the feeling of frustration always creeps in. I am still mustering the strength to tell this to someone in my family to help me find professional help as I can’t go out the house without their assistance. Hopefully, I’ll get there and finally seek help from a professional.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello neurochic and welcome to this community. Sorry to hear you are having a tough time at the moment. As hypercat54 has suggested a visit to your family doctor or a health professional would be a good first step. You are trying to cope with a lot on your own so please keep posting and the members of the community will do their best to support you.

[neurochic in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you, MAS_nurse. I feel a little better to find support here.

[Hidden]

Neurochic

If your Depression needs looking into it is important you need to see your GP. He will help and suggest ways of controlling your problems and moving on in a more positive way. Most people sometimes in life need support for some type of mental illness, most will recover with help and understanding. They will on occasions move on and life becomes a more positive experience

BOB

[neurochic in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, borderriever. I do want to live my life with more positivity in spite of having a disability. Hoping to get there someday soon.

[Hidden in reply to neurochic]

Hello Neurochic

I am registered disabled whatever that means, in my case I try to live my life knowing my limits, however sometimes I become my own worst enemy.

Whatever is wrong with us we need to be able to gain encouragement from activities we can perform. I look for diversions however my problem is after twenty four hours I forget what I have done or achieved. A week passes and by the week end I have forgotten what I have been up to. I rely on my Wife to nudge my memories and I have had too learn how to use my mid term memory in place of my short term memory. I have a library of books full of pictures showing where I have been. I also take a mass of tourist board leaflets of places visited and when I get home I file everything away in the reference section. My library is getting full with all my books and magazines, that are referenced as are my books. It seems to work well I suppose

Look after yourself

BOB

[neurochic in reply to Hidden]

Hi Borderriever,

I admire how you are able to work around your disability. It’s encouraging to know that one can manage to have fun and have positive experiences in spite of having a disability. You are also fortunate you have a supportive wife that you can rely on.

I am single and got diagnosed with purely sensory polyneuropathy when I was 19 which affected my walk and fine movements, and I have to use different assistive devices to go around. I’m now 36 and I try to be independent as much as I could, however, there are still a lot of limitations which makes me rely on the people I am with. I am able to work from home, thanks to technology and internet. But whenever I go out with family and friends, I tend to get frustrated at times when I am faced with my limitations. I’d also feel that I’m a burden to be around because of my limitation. I constantly look for diversions as well, but it is mostly fleeting. I feel like I’m in a constant cycle of having good days and mostly bad days and just so-so days. Am I just being too hard on myself?

D

[Hidden]

Neurochic

I am getting long in the tooth now and my Wife can have her work cut out looking after my needs. I was retired out over thirty years ago as I was becoming less strong and could not fulfill the manual component of my work. So I have been retired and my actions are very restricted. I take a long list of medications and that can make me feel quite low. Helping on here seems to give me one interest and I can manage quite well with a bungalow with adaptations.

We all can keep ourselves interested in various interests, I have an Orchard and that with a great deal of assistance keeps me occupied as does my picture, book library.

We also have our dog Pax and He knows when to jump on top of me to best affect. He is the best pick pocket I have ever met.

With disability we do not need to stop living there are always ways to fulfill our dreams. Yes there are troubling times, we need to put these negative times to the back of our minds.

I went through a tranche of courses with a Pain Clinic twenty years ago and they really helped to change my outlook to my Disability.

You look after yourself, I am around if needed

BOB

[neurochic in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom Borderriever. It really helps to be reminded that there are ways to cope with disability and those troubling times.

I used to have a dog chihuahua and it did bring some joy in my life having that kind of company. I’m considering having a dog again. I will also find various stuff I can get interested as well and see how it goes.

Again, thank you for sharing & the support. All the best to you and your wife.

D