I've made mistakes and I fear what it... - Mental Health Sup...

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I've made mistakes and I fear what it might do to my career when I'm older😔

tomboy123
tomboy123
16 Replies

Hi. I'm 16 years old and have made some in appropriate things in the past and I hate myself for them. I am never like that and for that reason I fear what people might think of me if they were to find out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

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hypercat54

Hi relax I am sure it is nothing as terrible as you think it is. Unless you killed someone or broke the law in a serious way then I don't see how it can impact on your future life. If you have committed any minor offences they would be wiped from your record in time.

It's difficult to comment without knowing what you have done but show me any normal youngster who hasn't done some naughty things in their youth and I will show you a liar. x

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tomboy123

Thanks so much. I'm so glad I've found this site so I can get get help off people like you🙂

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hypercat54

You are more than welcome.

Oh one more thing - never hate yourself or tell yourself that you do. This can become a habit and a self fulfilling prophecy. x

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tomboy123

Thank you so much😀

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tomboy123

Hey HyperCat

Sometimes I worry about what people might think of me when I'm away when I'm working when I'm older. My dream is to work in Hollywood and travel the world. Be the next Spielberg basically😂. But I'm afraid what people might say about me when I'm not at home in my home town.

I worry even now about what people say about me. I have made mistakes that people definitely know about. I would text girls who are older than me trying to be "cool" like an idiot but I regret it all.

I met a girl a few weeks back and I fear what she might hear about me. Whenever I send a text to my friends and if they don't answer I imidiatley think that they have heard something.

I guess I've just got to move on.

Sorry for another message but I feel like I can really get things off my chest here. Thank you.

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hypercat54

Tomboy I have got news for you! You simply aren't important enough to the general public to spend time and energy wondering about and judging you. Why would they? Most people are much too busy worrying about themselves to give you any thought. Do you do this to others?

If you became the next Spielberg would you give a damn what others think? If they did spare you a thought it would be one filled with envy.

Do you think you are the only teenager in the world to have done things like this? No way. The reason why people don't reply to texts is nothing to do with what you have or haven't done. It's because a) they didn't get it, b) They haven't had time to look, c) They are somewhere they can't call or text you, d) they are too tired e) they are too busy and so on. Do you get what I am saying?

How did you learn to be so ashamed of yourself and to feel so guilty? You don't need to at all. Follow your dreams as your life is yours to spend as you wish. x

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tomboy123

I really do see what your saying hypercat but I think the reason that I feel and think this way is because I live in a small town and things spread quickly. Stuff like this gas happened to my brother in the past and he has a huge influence on the town in terms of business. I guess I felt like if I were to fulfil my dreams it was more of a thing that I might not deserve it because of these mistakes and I want to use the resources I hope to gather to help others but feared that I might feel like a fraud while doing so. But I really do see what your saying. There will be another kid making silly mistakes like this in years to come. X

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hypercat54

No - there a million youngsters right now doing the same sort of things you did and much worse, trust me.

Do you really think an employer is going to say - 'Oh that's the guy who texted older woman trying to be cool, we don't want him'! That's silly. Like I said most teenagers do this type of thing so why should silly things you do at 16 be a talking point?

Apart from that do you intend to stay in your small town all your life? If that's the case then maybe you need to go to church, and volunteer yourself to help others. That way they can say oh he made mistakes but he is making up for them now!

You probably feel that way because you are 16 but trust me you will not be thinking like this in a year or so. Guilt and shame can ruin lives even more you know. x

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tomboy123

Thank you hypercat. I really feel like I've found a place the get all this off my chest. Thank you so much for your advice👍

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hypercat54

You are welcome. I am just trying to give you an outsiders view of it all as when you are too close it's not always easy to see the wood for the trees is it. x

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Iluvhorses

I find that a lot of people are more concerned with what you are doing now rather than what you've done in the past. That doesn't mean you won't live with the consequences of your mistakes though. I look at things from a Christian perspective. I believe in a God who forgives. Its fine if you don't feel the same way though.

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Hidden
Hidden

Hi Tomboy123,

I have done some things that I wish I could undo. I'm still working on forgiving myself. It gets better over time.

Work on forgiving yourself. We are all human... nobody is perfect.

Blessings!

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tomboy123
tomboy123
in reply to Hidden

Thank you so much☺

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tomboy123
tomboy123
in reply to tomboy123

I try to laugh at what I've done. My friends would dare me to text girls that are far too old for me and sometimes I'd do it out my own free will! It baffles me to think back on the choices I've made.

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borderriever

tomboy

You have made errors, and you have taken actions you are ashamed of, so have I and even now we never learn and most people will feel the same way you do.

Life is full of errors and gut feelings. I try and keep my mouth shut, and then move on.

We learn from our families and siblings and those people who we love and respect. You will learn and try and put right any errors we make. We just have to say sorry and move on.

When you understand you have not been considerate or you have made a mistake you will learn, if you upset people we love you will need to know when to be sincere and honest. Consider how you would feel if someone did whatever to you, then just do not do it. Be considerate and honest

BOB

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tomboy123

Thanks BOB

I try not to think about it. Sometimes I would be dared by my friends to text girls that are much older than me or even text them at my own free will! I guess I was trying to be "cool" but now I regret it all. When I'm older my dream is to work in Hollywood as a director but I fear what people would think about me at home and what might come out.

I guess I'll just have to move on. It's just annoying having these thought at 16😔

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