Abuser’s face stays with me

[Starlight_ftm]

Unfortunately there’s been a few men from childhood til the age 24 where I’ve had some nasty experiences but the last one sticks with me so much more and I realise every day he is popping into my head and I hate the fact he has that ability still. He was a police officer so not sure if that’s why because they are meant to be about safety or that he was the last one before I got help and now in a loving relationship.

My baby’s due date is 12th June and his birthday is 11th June so I wonder how il feel if she arrives on that day. I remember the date also because I loved the numbers 6 and 11 so ideally for those that don’t know my history probably think a good date for my baby whereas I don’t want the association.

I didn’t feel safe last night and also dreamt last night that when had the baby, she had his face. I guess I’m realising how much he still under my skin.

Thanks for reading

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You should try talking to someone, survivors are stronger than abusers