Cant please the people in my life

[Nato22]

Hello. i know im probably becoming a bore to the group and i apologise for burdening everyone with my self pity posts recently but this really is the only place i can say how i truly feel about my life the people in my life really dont care and dont really wana listen. ive recently been thinking of applying for work in the UK but each time i want to click to apply for certain jobs doubt creeps in what if i dont belong?or fail miserably?so i mentioned to my aunt about my thoughts and expecting her support she very clearly told me that i was not qualified enough to work in london.this is her type of response for everything that i confide in her about that i wana do i have tried my whole life to please her and everyone in my family but nothing i do or say is ever good enough she makes it her point to remind me of all the things that are wrong with me not fit enough, not skilled enough, not skinny enough anyway i geuss i just need advice on how to get over trying to good enough for my family when they act like they hate me can never be happy for me no matter what i do or achieve when i received a scholarship a few yeas ago they broke my heart when they appeared less than happy and instead wanted to know how and why?it makes me so sad and because of them i have had suicidal thoughts and can t trust people or confide in any one or let anyone in cos deep inside i just want nothing to do with meeting new people in social circles i close myself off hate my job and every job that i want to cut myself off from my family completely i dont want to be around them anymore they hurt me so badly inside

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Nato22

Thanks for your message and it is good that you feel you can share how you feel with us. It sounds as if things are so difficult for you right now. You have done a very positive thing telling us about how you feel and this community has very supportive members , so they may offer you more help and information.

You have done so many positive things like when you mention coming to England to work and the negative responses that family have made. it may be that they want you to stay nearby so prefer you not to leave. Perhaps you could tell us more about this?

Is there any family member or friend that you can share your feelings with?

You also gained a scholarship, that is something you can be proud of too.

Have you spoken with a doctor ? They may be able to suggest some more help for you and possibly some talking therapy. The pinned posts and topics may have more information about this.

The MIND charity at mind.org might offer more information.

Do keep in touch with us and best wishes

[Suzie40]

Since when did you need to be skinny to work in London? How silly. Your relationship with your aunt seems a bit of a toxic one and I would suggest you seek advise from a variety of people before drawing conclusions about your worth. I know what you mean about wanting to please your family - I've lived my whole life like that and it's not earned me any credit or respect.

[Nato22 in reply to Suzie40]

my family just dont respect me or see me as grown up my whole life all theyve ever done was break my spirit and crush my self-esteem bullied at school and at home damaged me those are scars that just dont go away ive been carrying so much pain inside.i know i have to talk to my therapist but sometimes i break down before i even utter the words to her. My mind is just made up i need to leave this place and go somewhere and figure out who I am without them even if it means i have to sleep on the streets