I'm broken I can t think strait
In 2017 my parents said they were going to get a fresh start but then all their arguments got worse and worse and they were screaming so loud ringing in my ears.
I tried to let it go you know "new year new me".
The thoughts of my parents, the people who I love the most in the world were making me choose sides.
And then time after time police were called over and over again but by a point ever one is the same "The person next door had a noise complaint and told me to investigate"
After a while I accepted my life.
The shitshow that it was.
But one day my sister got sick so we took her to the hospital because it seemed bad the first time they just sent my mother and sister home with a "She just needs rest" and some medicine.
Little did we know she had blood cancer.
My family never told me and my brother. Until the day we went to visit her, in Stanford Hospital, where they told us she has Blood cancer I cried and cried and then got all theese thoughts.
Thoughts that I'd never see my sister again.
Now its been 4 months and my sister is a lot better.
But the lingering suacidal thoughts in my head tell me to do it and I say no but I they just keep flooding my head and I don't know what's wrong with me.
Is this depression?
I don't know
Something is wrong with me.
I'm breaking down slowly