I'm a freshman in college in my 2nd semester.
I'm a very sensitive person, but i dont show it because I know that some people think it's annoying.
I'm majoring in electrical engineering and since I failed my physics class last semester, I'm retaking it this semester which resulted in overloading in credits so that im not behind. Currently I'm taking 20 credits and 6 weeks in, I'm finally starting to get the hang of balancing my homework load. But now, everyday sis just spent doing homework and i can't help but get really depressed. Knowing that engineering his difficult, I don't know if I can continue pursuing it. However, it's too late to change my major if I want to graduate in 4 years. I don't necessarily hate it and I definitely will stick with engineering, but the workload and classes get difficult.
It's hard enough that my roommate is a business major that doesn't do jack shit. She's really nice and all, so I feel like a piece of shit being jealous of all the free time she has. Everyday she just watches Netflix for take naps, while her "hardest" classes would be her core classes like Theology. She would be complaining having to read a 10 page article for discussions while I'm sitting at my desk trying to figure out what's wrong with my CS coding homework that I've been working on for 9 hours.
I really can't stop feeling like a piece of shit for hating on people just because I can't handle my shit well. But like, me thinking like this doesn't reflect how I act at all. I just act like everything is going fine. Also, I'm a very big introverts so whenever I hang out w/ my close friends, too much socializing is just too much sometimes (especially with all the stress) so I can tell that I bring the mood down at time for not being as hyped. And I can tell that they get worried for me. I'm so blessed to have such good friends that understand when I tell then "I just can't today". They really are amazing, and I feel bad that they have to be my friends. I'm such a piece of shit.