Lol at my life

[Splash01]

So long story short, went through mental abuse with my son’s father. We were engaged and had a wedding planned, but turned out our 3 yrs of dating and one year engagement had a third party. He left me to be with her Bc I was the one who “changed” blah blah. Anyways so it’s been like 2 yrs since I’ve dated and had any type of action. I’ve been now talking to this guy and we had a good time(you know 😉) its all fun and games until all those emotions you’ve tried to bury deep deep; as far away from your heart, come back. After burying these emotions for literally an entire year they are all now hitting me at once but I also felt numb with him. All I wanted was my ex Bc everything was so natural and he was “the one” or so I thought. I’ve been to therapy but we haven’t covered the topic of dealing with emotions yet Bc I obviously try to avoid that subject with humor to cover how I feel. I just want to take all my pills again Bc I felt nothing when I did that but I also am not suicidal if that makes sense. Truly hate myself sometimes 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

[Stilltrying_]

I don't think you can ever experience the flush of full blown first love again. You are still grieving, but just take it one step at a time with this guy. It won't be the same because he is a different person but maybe he can offer you new things.

There's no need to rush; just hold on to your emotions until you are ready to commit and see if he is the right person for you. X

[hypercat54]

That's awful but I don't get why you hate yourself sometimes? Is it your fault your ex cheated on you? No it's not. He was trying to put the blame on you for his own cheating which is common in relationships. He is the one who cheated not you and he is the only one at fault.

Do you hate yourself for having these emotions afterwards? if so why? You are only human you know and it just means that you have to deal with those emotions before you can move on. Ergo!

Feeling nothing might seem very attractive in the short term I get that but in the long term you need to feel and learn to deal with your emotions instead. x

[Splash01 in reply to hypercat54]

Yes... I hate that I have feelings for someone else when I gave everything to my ex. I don’t know what to do with these feelings Bc the last time I did have feelings for someone everything was a lie and it was “my fault.” I want to experience new things with this guy Bc we seriously hit it off and I truly like him, but I just question everything about his intentions.

[hypercat54 in reply to Splash01]

Well of course you do as once bitten twice shy. That's normal after all. I would take things slowly with this new man and if he knows your previous history he should be prepared for this. Be careful of the rebound though.

How can something be your fault when someone cheats on you? That makes no sense whatsoever. Are you thinking if you were more perfect he wouldn't have cheated on you? if so that's b*****t. If someone wants to cheat they will do it regardless of what you do so take that thought out of your head right now. x

[Splash01 in reply to hypercat54]

I appreciate you and your time! So so so so much! 💙💙 thank you

[hypercat54 in reply to Splash01]

Bless you Remember you are strong. Never give your power away. xx

[Hidden]

What pills?..you didn't Bury your emotions you replaced them with fun but when the fun was over, your emotions were like 'hello, I'm still here'..you need to prioritise yourself. What are you going to therapy for?..I would be uncovering everything.. get yourself together..or you'll still be going round and around..